The 10 Most Hilariously Awful Wrestling Entrance Themes

Categories: Whatever

Last Friday was the 46th birthday of one of my absolute favorite wrestlers, William Regal aka Steve Regal before the WWE instituted its rather bizarre No-More-Steves rule. Not that it matters, his real name is Darren Matthews.

"Regal" is an amazing man, rising to hold more than 60 titles in various promotions from the lowly stance of a carnival wrestler. I was very dismayed when a heart condition derailed a grand uptick in his career in 2004, though he continued sporadic matches up until this year. I highly recommend his book, Walking a Golden Mile because it is wonderful.

That said... I will always remember that he had one of the most ridiculous entrance themes in the history of wrestling, and today we celebrate some of the dumbest scores in his name. Happy Birthday, sir.

Art Attack:

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10. Steven Regal
In the late '90s WWE tried to play up Regal as a "real man's man" and based their entire image of the on the guy pictured on Brawny paper towels. So here he is being wacky and lumberjacky over a chant so homoerotic it makes "What What (In the Butt)" look like a Klan rally.

9. American Males
Back before he became an embarrassment to wrestling and men in general, Buff Bagwell legitimately looked like he was going to be a legendary figure. Teamed with Scotty Riggs, they formed a gigolo team in the mid '90s that sported a theme song that sounds like they are dual sodomizing a vocoder and making it scream their name like some sort of dance music Deliverance.

8. Mr. Ass
He went from being a member of the one of the greatest tag teams in wrestling to being called Mr. Ass. What the hell, Billy? Your amplifier was "Bad Ass" and you decided that "Ass" was the important part of that. He kept up this gimmick of mooning people for years until a long-running and highly offensive gay joke actually seemed like he was seeking the higher ground.

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