Ask Willie D: Sexually Active Teen; White Man, Black Woman
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
I have had sex with five different boys and a 22-year old man. I do it because my parents care about their jobs more than me. They are almost never home and when they are, they're either working or sleeping. I can hardly remember a time when they were there to help me with homework or answer a question about a pressing issue; they left that to babysitters and housekeepers.
Because I seldom spend quality time with them, I feel like I don't even know them and they certainly don't know me. For a long time I was Sweet Polly Purebred. I did everything their way without question. I was their perfect little angel.
But now I don't care anymore. We are always fighting and I'm always on punishment. But since they're never around to enforce punishment, it doesn't mean anything so I still do whatever I want.
My grades are falling off now. I went from a straight-A student to barely maintaining a C average. My personal life is a disaster.
I'm really not a bad person; I'm just acting out because I'm mad. I want to get back on good terms with my mom and dad and leave alcohol and drugs alone. I also want to get my grades back up and stop being promiscuous because I don't want to be labeled a slut. Can you tell me how to get back on track?
I'm convinced you are a good person. The root of your anger is your resentment for your parents' overzealous work ethic, but before you attempt to correct their behavior, you need to correct your own. Stop drinking, doing drugs and having sex, period! You're too young for the consequences.
Schedule a family meeting with your mom and dad during a time that you think both of them are most likely to be home. The gesture will intrigue them because family meetings usually involve serious discussions that kids want no part of.
Tell your parents how you feel about having always been left with babysitters and housekeepers. Give them examples of times when you faced issues alone and wished they were there to aid you or to simply say, it'll be okay.
It might even be a good idea to tell them that you recently stopped drinking, doing drugs and having sex. If that don't snap them back to reality, nothing will.
Even though the information will be disturbing, they will probably be so grateful that you have already self-addressed the situation that they will do anything to make sure it doesn't happen again. They are also likely to have a newfound trust in you because you fessed up to some serious transgressions that you didn't have to.
Parents are often in denial about the emotional effects their busy work schedules have on their children. Innocently enough, as long as they're living under the same roof, putting food on the table, and buying clothes, iPhones, and XBoxes, they don't think of limited time teaching and disciplining their kids as negligence.
Negligence is a form of abuse. That's why there are so many rich and middle-income kids with major behavior problems. Most parents work their butts off to give their kids life's luxuries but what good is it for a child to gain the world yet forfeit her soul?
WHITE MAN, BLACK WOMAN
I am a white man in love with a black woman. Our decision to be together has caused strains on both of our relationships with friends and relatives. My mother hates her and both of her parents hate me. I find myself not inviting her to certain functions because I don't want to get into a fight with someone for snickering or making a stupid comment.
We keep our circle small and calculate the places we go to avoid the unnecessary drama that interracial couples endure. God, the stares we get from people could melt an iceberg. What the hell is wrong with this world? I need some real advice from a standup guy. Will you please help me understand why are people so hung up on skin color?
People are hung up over skin color because the hatemongers - many of whom earn a living spreading vile messages of separatism and fear - told them to be. I bet if any of them or their family members got into a serious accident and needed a life-saving blood transfusion or an organ they wouldn't care if the donor was razzmatazz.
There are millions of people who trip over race but have no problem associating with or being child abusers, woman-beaters, deadbeat parents, thieves, liars, adulterers, perverts, winos, dope fiends, back-stabbers... the list goes on. I know you're trying to protect your woman, but don't exclude her from social gatherings. If she's not welcome, you're not welcomed.
James Taylor said, "The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time." We live in a cold, dark world. Some people are in the afterlife, still looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Regardless of race, if I found someone I loved to ride this thing called life out with me, someone to enjoy the passage of time with who had my back during my disappointments as well as my successes, I wouldn't care what a crackhead monkey thought. I'm living for me and mine, not you and yours.