Ask Willie D: Hanging Onto Photos of My Exes; Rich Girl, No Man
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Dear Willie D:
I have several pictures of me with old boyfriends dating all the way back to my freshman year in high school. I haven't seen any of my exes in years, but that hasn't stopped my boyfriend of the past two years from being jealous.
He wants me to destroy the photos but I refuse to. Naturally, this has caused dissention in our relationship. I feel like the pictures are a part of my history and throwing them away would be like throwing a part of myself away. Am I wrong for wanting to hold on to old memories, or is my boyfriend being childish and overreacting?
A lot of people keep photos of their exes because they're unsure if their new relationship will last. Healthy relationships are full of compromises.
Whether you're wrong or he's being childish and overreacting, at this point it doesn't matter. Something has to give. If you're not going to destroy them, why don't you take the pictures over to your parents' house or store them at a sibling or friend's place for safekeeping?
It's human nature to want to hold onto pleasant memories. But the best memories are saved in your heart not in a photo album.
WASTING MY TIME?
Dear Willie D:
I have been dealing with my lady for a year now. We have been taking things slow, starting off as friends since she went through a bad breakup with her ex-fiancé. Her healing process has been very difficult on me as far as dealing with her emotions. It's almost like I'm getting punished for past mistakes that other men made.
She says she loves me but she's burnt out on relationships. She wants me to be patient, but I don't know if she will ever heal from her pain. I've been taking care of her since she lost her job, and no matter how much I'm there, it's still the same. I feel like I'm being played and wasting my time. Am I?
You would have done yourself a big favor by not getting into a relationship with someone who is fresh out of a relationship. She's still nursing her wound. By dating you before she had a chance to fully recover from her last relationship, she didn't give the wound time to heal.
Bishop Ronald Hopes of Inner Peace Cathedral told me, "Sometimes people will tell us they ain't no good for us, but we're still drawn to them."
When she told you in no uncertain terms she was burnt out on relationships, you should have called Tyrone and got the hell on right then and there. Since you didn't, that means your love for her is greater than the painful emotions imposed against you.
Your situation reminds me of the character Ace in the movie Casino, played by Robert DeNiro. In the movie Ace falls in love with and marries a hustler named Ginger, who is an emotional wreck still in love with her ex. My hunch is that because she doesn't have closure, at the moment, she's incapable of being of sound mind with anybody.
You didn't mention anything that warrants deceit, so I don't think she's playing you. But only catching her on the phone in the middle of the night plotting to kill you or finding out she gave your hard-earned money to her junkie ex-boyfriend will tell if you're wasting your time.
As hard as Ace tried, he never could get Ginger to envision sitting with him on the porch in those two rocking chairs.