So About This Idiotic "Accidental Racist" Song...

Wheelhouse 0410.jpg
So somewhere along the line, a very strange, slightly racist, and incredibly awkward brainchild -- aptly named "Accidental Racist" -- appeared to Brad Paisley and LL Cool J. Instead of shoving that idea into the box labeled "Hell no," they decided to record it and put it out into the universe for all to hear.

Yep, you heard that right. A song, called "Accidental Racist," recorded by Brad Paisley and LL Cool J, does indeed exist and is included on Paisley's new album Wheelhouse (out today). And no, it's apparently not a widespread public swatting. It is a very real thing, with very real lyrics, and it's on Paisley's new album, Wheelhouse. Still don't believe me? See the proof below, in all of its six minutes of glory.

The song -- in case you didn't listen above, and I won't blame you if you don't, because it's six minutes of wasted life -- literally begins in a Starbucks with Paisley getting called out by a barista for his Skynyrd shirt that features a rebel flag.

Paisley laments from there about the woes of being "caught between Southern pride and Southern blame," and how "we're still paying for mistakes that a bunch of folks made long before we came."

Um, I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that wearing a shirt with a confederate flag for which a Starbucks barista calls you out is maybe not the same as paying a price for the sale of human beings.

A little egg on the ol' country-boy face for a poor choice of symbolism? Yes. Price of a human life? Meh. Probably not.

Also, if one is worried about the potential repercussions of repping his or her favorite band's T-shirt, there's a solution of about a thousand Skynyrd shirts sans the whole "controversial rebel flag" thing.

So if you don't want to be deemed an accidental racist by the fool making your skinny vanilla latte, perhaps you should wear the one that isn't featuring a flag that stood for being against the abolition of slavery.

Anyhow, that kind of Southern-pride silliness goes on for about five minutes or so, until good ol' Mr. LL steps in to teach his country homie a lesson on why the hell he needs to stop this accidental-racist weirdness. Unfortunately, he starts it off with the lyrics "Dear Mr. White Man," and it's apparent that we're still headed for a crash course in how to properly cringe.

An influx of even more bizarre word play follows, with LL rapping about the Mason Dixon line needin' some fixin' and saying shit like "RIP Robert E. Lee" and "If you don't judge my do-rag, I won't judge your red flag." I'm sorry, what?

No, LL and Brad, a do-rag and a rebel flag are not on the same level playing field. One is meant to produce waves in your 'do, and the other holds symbolism about keeping folks imprisoned as slaves because they produce more melanin that you do. It's kinda way freaking different.


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25 comments
Janay Ontothenext Wardell
Janay Ontothenext Wardell

Gold chains and durags don't apply to me. LL could have kept his uneducated opinion to himself. The mason Dixon needs some fixin? R.I.P to Robert e Lee? Damn him, he fought so I would NOT be free... As far as paisley, if you don't like the looks you get don't wear the shirt. You know what it symbolizes to some people, otherwise you wouldn't have made a shitty song about it. That's the equivalent to walking around with a swastika shirt and expecting the Jewish not to be offended.

Scott Fuchs
Scott Fuchs

I listen to Country. Real Country, not the stuff on the radio. The song is just horrible, regardless, of intentions. Listen to "The Southern Thing" by Drive By Truckers. Similar sentiment but much better executed both musically and lyrically.

Joe Pinney
Joe Pinney

A flawed song to be sure, and the song title and lyrics could have used a couple of rewrites before recording, but I appreciate the overall intent behind it. Brad Paisley's a good songwriter and a sincere man who may be a bit naive and uninformed but is hardly meaning to cause offense. He's also spoken out previously about the wearing of Confederate flags (he doesn't think it's a good idea). It takes balls to try to tackle a complex subject with no easy answers like this. I don't see too many other country artists doing that. The critics of this song tell us more about themselves in their criticisms than they do the song, including HP's. Most people who've suddenly formed an opinion about this don't even listen to country music. The condemnation, however, is telling. When did it suddenly become wrong to try to try to see things through someone else's eyes and make an effort to overcome the sins of the past? When did it become wrong to try to start a dialogue on a loaded subject? You don't have to agree with the song or its lyrics or this line or that line to respect its overall aim, which is to get folks talking when they might otherwise be loathe to do so. When are we really going to deal with the elephant in the room and stop trying to always sweep it under the rug? Just because some folks have gotten to a certain place down the road of progress doesn't mean everyone has, and nobody holds the moral high ground.

Jay Francis
Jay Francis

You know what? I am going to retract my previous statement. It may be that Walter Brennan WAS the first cross over country slash hip hop artist. Take a look at the lyrics. One could say it is about the good relation between a white farmer and a black farmer. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE I FIRST SEEN OLD RIVERS? WHY, I CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN HE WEREN'T AROUND. WELL, THAT OLD MAN DID A HEAP OF WORK; SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE WALKING PLOWED GROUND. HE HAD A ONE-ROOM SHACK NOT FAR FROM US, AND WE WAS ABOUT AS POOR AS HIM. HE HAD ONE OLD MULE HE CALLED "MIDNIGHT", AND I'D TAG ALONG AFTER THEM. HE'D PLOW THEM ROWS STRAIGHT AND DEEP AND I'D TAG ALONG BEHIND, BUSTIN' UP CLODS WITH MY OWN BARE FEET -- OLD RIVERS WAS A FRIEND OF MINE. THAT SUN WOULD GET HIGH AND THAT MULE WOULD WORK TILL OLD RIVERS'D SAY, "WHOA!" THEN HE'D WIPE HIS BROW, LEAN BACK IN THE REINS, AND TALK ABOUT A PLACE HE WAS GONNA GO. (CHORUS) SAY, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GONNA CLIMB THAT MOUNTAIN; WALK UP THERE AMONG THEM CLOUDS, WHERE THE COTTON'S HIGH AND THE CORN'S A-GROWIN', AND THERE AIN'T NO FIELDS TO PLOW. I GOT A LETTER FROM BACK HOME THE OTHER DAY -- THEY'RE ALL FINE, AND THE CROPS IS HIGH -- AND DOWN AT THE END MY MAMA SAID, "YOU KNOW, OLD RIVERS DIED." I'M JUST SITTING HERE ON THIS NEW-PLOWED EARTH, TRYIN' TO FIND ME A LITTLE SHADE. AND WITH THE SUN BEATING DOWN, 'CROSS THE FIELD I SEE THAT MULE, OLD RIVERS...AND ME"

Roland Gonzalez
Roland Gonzalez

^^ something about "if you dont judge my do-rag i wont judge your red flag"

Jay Francis
Jay Francis

If they had been a little more intelligent they could have very easily written some lines about the long history of spoken word, narration in classic country western songs. And no I'm not talking about hip hop artist, Walter Brennan's "Old Rivers and Me".

Marcus_Smith
Marcus_Smith

While this song is pretty goofy, you're definitely generalizing with what the confederate flag stands for. People are allowed to have Southern pride; the South got invaded and everyone had to deal with that, whether they owned slaves or not.

Quit hating the South.

Andrew Puls
Andrew Puls

I'm offended by the horribleness of the music and the lyrics, the content is a non-starter.

Jen Rose
Jen Rose

the people offended by it have probably never seen Avenue Q. That has one of the most racist songs in the history of music

Heather Zens
Heather Zens

The entire song is about how he's kind of sad but kind of not sad about his white privilege. Hilarious.

Roland Gonzalez
Roland Gonzalez

not sure what happened? but that song is no longer available

Antoinette Cantu
Antoinette Cantu

I thought it was very bizarre. I'm not annoyed by it, I think its good that they are bringing up the subject because it does need to be talked about. The song itself sucks pretty bad though. I def don't see 93Q playing it.

massmurdermedia
massmurdermedia

i'd like to think that somewhere a barista (wearing a che t-shirt) called out beyonce for singing the national anthem about a flag under which not only slavery occurred but also a native american holocaust...  but of course, the victors always get to write history, right?...


Craigley
Craigley

What a perfect pair of posers; a match made in junk marketing.

Anse
Anse

Southerners are still paying for mistakes of the past because Southerners won't stop bringing it up. Don't talk history if you don't want to really talk history.

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

"Um, I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that wearing a shirt with a confederate flag for which a Starbucks barista calls you out is maybe not the same as paying a price for the sale of human beings." 

THANK YOU! Your line is the best response possible. Reading the story, I could pitch a kicking-cussing fit over this shilly sit,  if not for that whole, "don't come home without a job," dealy with the Mrs. 

dermgerm
dermgerm

I dont even...whaaa?

Also, nods to the city of syrup.

Craigley
Craigley

@Anse - Yes and that includes the Black Southerners.  

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