10 More Reasons Dolly Parton Is Badass

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So, the 9th Annual Mountain Soul Vocal Competition is just around the corner, and you should care because it involves the ever-illustrious Country Barbie known as Ms. Dolly Parton. She's my favorite, and just saying her name makes me want to adopt a Southern accent and wear rhinestones.

If you're a decent singer (which I am not, or I would enter and kick your ass), you might want to look into this little ol' contest. The Mountain Soul Vocal Competition is encouraging contestants to enter by singing your version of a song that Dolly has penned, and you could win all sorts of sweet swag -- including a recording session in Nashville and a guitar autographed by Dolly Parton. Swoon.

I'm sure at least half of the submissions will be "Jolene," but if you want to win that guitar, maybe you should try to change it up a bit. I mean, with 41 albums out and more than 3,000 songs penned, there's got to be a few Parton songs to choose from, right? (Also, if someone submits a metal version of "Coat of Many Colors," I will forever be in awe of your talents. Please and thanks.)

If you're interested in puttin' on your best Dolly Parton wig and warbling your way to fame, you can visit Bloomin' BBQ for more information on this amazingness. If you're still not sold, check out the list below. It'll help you out on your road to finding your inner Dolly Parton. Here are 10 Facts That Make Dolly Parton Badass:


10. She has some well-hidden ink on her body
Dolly has always denied having tattoos, but she inadvertently confirmed the myth when she bent down in January 2012 and revealed a little more cleavage than she meant to. She's definitely got some ink down near those bad boys. Bravo, Miss Thang.


9. She's all about equality, folks.
She hosts "Gay Day" at Dollywood -- much to the chagrin of the KKK, who threatened her over the event.

When it first started there were people giving us threats, I still get threats," Parton said. "But like I said, I'm in business. I just don't feel like I have to explain myself. I love everybody.

When asked about her thoughts on the hot-button topic of marriage equality, Parton graced us with the following: "I always say, 'Sure -- why can't they get married?" she said. "They should suffer like the rest of us do!'"

Oh, Dolly. That's why you're the greatest.


8. She can play nine different instruments
She can bust out tunes on the autoharp, banjo, drums, dulcimer, fiddle, guitar, harmonica, pennywhistle, and the piano. The freakin' pennywhistle. Too awesome.


7. She's never been on a single ride at Dollywood, despite owning it for 20 years
"My daddy used to say, 'I could never be a sailor. I could never be a miner. I could never be a pilot,' Dolly said. "I am the same way. I have motion sickness. I could never ride some of these rides. I used to get sick on the school bus."


6. She accidentally crashed the Imagination Library Website, with a little help from Reddit
The cyber-traffic drummed up from a Reddit post about her free-book program effectively shut down the Imagination Library site, with hordes of parents looking to take part in the free library collection of more than 60 books that Parton is offering to children. Only Dolly Parton could shut down a library site.


5. She lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest to a man
And it was hilarious, too. "All these beautiful drag queens had worked for weeks and months getting their clothes," she said. "So I just got in the line and I just walked across, and they just thought I was some little short gay guy...I got the least applause."


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16 comments
davelog
davelog

Favorite Dolly quote: "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap."

yllennoc
yllennoc

You left out the whole prolific songwriter part of her badassness.  As for the song contest, I would suggest "Down From Dover" or her version of "Little Sparrow" to break up the endless stream of "Jolene".

wytzox1
wytzox1

Would L♥ve to see a video of Dolly playing all of those various instruments!

Wyld1
Wyld1

There are way too many reason to list why Dolly is bad ass....however, a couple of corrections:

Dolly has admitted to having ink....she just keeps it covered although it has briefly seen in some interviews and pictures. And the ink that was dsiplayed between her cleavage in 2012 was not a real tattoo...that was photoshopped. Secondly, she has indeed been on some of the rides at Dollywood. There are pictures of her on the river ride and on the ferris wheel....

I hope some people choose to cover some of Dolly's songs that are less commercial. She is one of the most prolific songwriters in this world!

Wes Dodson
Wes Dodson

I remember as a kid hearing about Larry Flynt offering both Dolly and Valerie Bertinelli $1,000,000 each to pose for his rag. To my knowledge, neither did.

Suzanna White
Suzanna White

I didn't know it was possible to love her more. But it was. And I do. TITS

Jay Sutton
Jay Sutton

Actually, I can only think of two reasons.

Sihaya
Sihaya

@yllennoc The estimate of three thousand tunes was admittedly in the intro to the list.

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