Sad You Aren't at SXSW? Here's What You Could Be Missing...

Categories: SXSW

Some local douchebags roaming Sixth Street dressed up like Kings of Leon
Don't worry, I took a picture of them for you. What a bunch of assholes. I mean, seriously...oh, sorry, is that your little brother?

That one edgy, indie comedian you like drinking at a bar with a hot chick
You know, the one guy who was in that big summer movie for like five minutes, but he was the best part. Damn, I even have one of his comedy albums, too. This is killing me. No, Mitch Hedberg is dead, so it's not him.

A crying girl for no reason
Awwww, she wanted to get into that one day party with the cute tattooed boys, but she's too young and her fake ID was taken away. She never should have left San Marcos for this anyway. I mean, it's not like she called in sick to work to go to this thing anyway. It's not like she has bills to pay. Fuck.

Free energy drinks from the back of a truck
A boobilicious girl in a white tank top with too much makeup on her face is handing out free energy drinks from the back of a giant pickup truck, and there's a guy trying to get her phone number while she half-smiles into the distance and tells him he looks thirsty.

A guy or girl dressed like he or she is in a blizzard
You know you hot, baby, you know you is.

A guy or girl dressed like he or she is on the surface of the Sun.
You know you hot, baby, you know you is.

A family of four here for moral support for a loved one in a band
"We didn't know there would be so much drinking, smoking and cussing. Did that rasta bum just wink at me?"

Aging '90s modern rock band for people who don't know about new bands

Hey, it's that band that you, I mean, all of us lost our virginity to. Didn't we all lose it to Third Eye Blind? (dead silence)

People taking more than ten seconds to explain their jobs to you
Oh, cute, computers...

People complaining about Green Day not being "punk"
Welcome to the 21st century, Sid. No one cares anymore about punk cred except boring white guys on Facebook. I just hope they play "Walking Contradiction" or the song from Angus.



Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
WestSideBob topcommenter

I bet traffic sucks even more than usual ... when it finally moves, that is.  Keep A'utin weird, Craig :-)

Now Trending

Houston Concert Tickets

From the Vault