Ask Willie D: My Grown Pothead Son Won't Move Out
SNUBBED BY A FRIEND
Willie D,
I have a friend that's been acting weird with me. She won't return my calls and kind of ignores me. I love her like a sister and don't look at her in any other way. I tried reaching out to her, but I feel that she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. Should I write her, talk to her about it, or should I just let it be and not worry about her any longer?
Snubbed,
It would have been helpful if you could have pointed to a motive for your friend's ignoring you. Talking behind your buddy's back, telling her secrets, lying and being selfish or a troublemaker are some of the more common causes for having your friendship pass revoked.
So that his or her mate doesn't get jealous, and to keep down confusion, sometimes a friend will end or hit the pause button in a platonic relationship when he becomes involved in an intimate relationship. However, to call yourself a friend and stop communicating with a friend for no apparent reason known to that friend is a coward's way to dissolve a friendship. I don't know where those types of people come from.
Since she's ignoring you, try contacting your friend via cell phone. Leave voice and text messages to be sure she gets it. Tell her what's on your mind, but make it short and sweet.
End your message with a call to action. Something like "This will be my last time reaching out to you. If you're interested in continuing our friendship, give me a call" should be sufficient.
At that point, the ball will be in her court. She can either be a player -- in your life -- or a fan in the stands.
Willie D
STUCK
Willie D,
I'm writing to you because I am 19 and I have a problem with my mother. She is always telling me what to do like I'm still ten years old. How do I break the cycle? When I tell her I will just move out, she starts crying, and then I cannot leave her. My mother is always making me feel guilty. Please help me!
Stuck Friend,
Next time write a note to your mom telling her that you're moving out, wait until she goes to work, sleep or the bathroom and make your James Bond grand escape.
P.S.: Since all it takes is a little eye water to get you to do something you don't want to do, if you don't help me pay my rent this month and buy my dog a gift basket, I'm going to start crying.
Willie D
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