The 10 Dumbest Things Overheard at SXSW This Year

Categories: SXSW

SXSW Swag 0316 1.jpg
Photos by Marco Torres
Swag is rampant again at SXSW this year.
For every insightful conversation I have heard or had at SXSW over the years, whether it was talking to Matt Pinfield while walking the streets of Austin discussing David Bowie, or telling The Clash's Mick Jones that he was, in fact, in The Clash, I have overheard a thousand awful ones.

Years of eavesdropping on troglodytes trying to talk "shop," or listening to people with horrid musical opinions waxing poetic about a band that should have been aborted, should have hardened me to humanity in Austin, but instead I just keep trying harder to listen.

For blog's sake, of course.

Here are some of the dumbest, most dogshit things I have heard so far this SXSW. Where applicable, I will fill you in on the locales and circumstances.

SXSW Swag 0316 2.jpg
Think of the children!
"Okay, I mean, like, I'll vomit on your car."
These words came from a prim and proper blond girl I passed by at the Sound City Players show. I don't know if she did vomit on his or her car, but I hope she did.

"Can we pay you in weed to take us to Wendy's?"
Apparently pedicab drivers are here only to ferry drunks to get spicy nuggets.

"All I need in this world is more Doritos tacos."
I thought that too after having just one, but after eating six more on a dare, colors seem duller and my sense of direction is shot. Class-action lawsuit, here I come!

"Suck my dick Suck my dick Suck my dick...."
The art of romance, as exhibited by a young man in a group of ten on Sixth Street, hollering at a pretty girl. The wedding is next spring.

"I saw that Paul McCartney will be here..."
Me, not hip to the fact that all the SXSW golf carts have cute names, and easily duped by pictures on Twitter.



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Ok, Houston Press, you have now officially worn out the top 10 list thing.  Mkay?


I thought the little guy from kid rock was dead


I used line 10 once. And I did vomit on the car. I'm no liar!


@dermgerm That was my car, I do believe. Does it count when it's your sister's car?

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