So, Who Should Play the Super Bowl Halftime Show Next Year?

Categories: WTF Island

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And it would be the best wardrobe malfunction ever.
This past weekend, I was honored to cover the Super Bowl XLVII festivities and game in New Orleans for the Houston Press and local TV outlet KIAH (Channel 39). Great fun, if not for locals in NOLA, who were ravaged by drunken football fanatics puking onto their 49ers and Ravens jerseys in the streets.

Obviously Beyonce's halftime show was big news leading up to the game, along with the commercials. As for the game, well, the Ravens resident reverend Ray Lewis got to end his career with a second Super Bowl ring.

Next year the big game comes to the New York area on February 2, 2014, at the new MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. We won't know who is playing the halftime show until at least early fall, so we have plenty of time to speculate.

Why not just have Louis C.K. do 15 minutes of stand-up? He's local after all, and his stage would just be a stool and a microphone. What company has the balls to sponsor that?

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Photo by Marc Brubaker
The big conversation though is how weather will effect the game, since MetLife is open air. Jersey in late January/early February isn't exactly historically sunny and warm, and that will be factored in when the halftime entertainment is booked.

There could be a torrential snowstorm, zero-degree winds, you name it. Why did MetLife get the big game? This Daily Beast article knows why.

You can bundle up and heat a stage, but what if the Super Bowl committee books Lady Gaga, a New York City native?

I know I know, I am just supposing....

Being a Jersey Super Bowl, the first logical and safe choice is Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, who also played the halftime show in 2009. I still get chills thinking about how awesome those 12 minutes played out. The Bruce crotch shot was just the cherry on top. Playing "Working on a Dream"? Not so much.

Springsteen and his crew did play some of the last shows at MetLife's precursor, the now-demolished Giants Stadium

But bands do not normally play in detrimental weather. Imagine Beyonce doing what she did on Sunday night inside a blizzard. Not so sexy, unless you love head-to-toe fur and boots.

Bon Jovi is also a Jersey act. They would be a no-brainer for most people holding massive bags of money, and their popularity isn't waning any time soon. And your mom digs them.

The Strokes are from Manhattan. But the Strokes are boring live. And the Strokes haven't released a decent album since the first Dubya administration.

Could Jay-Z pass muster for the NFL? Is Middle America ready for he and Kanye on such a stage? The seven-second delay would be a given.


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8 comments
GlenW
GlenW

Some may still think of KISS as a New York band. Your Springsteen hunch with Jon Bon seems like a pretty good bet.

I'd prefer Anthrax. \m/

gilvaz1
gilvaz1

ROLLING STONES WOULD BE GREAT.

berencheats
berencheats

After the abomination and utterly un-entertaining halftime the Beyonce the Air Dry Humper put on, ANYONE would be an improvement.

dangellet
dangellet

KISS is a no-brainer. NFL would save money, because the band could bring along its own pyro.

Julian Bajsel
Julian Bajsel

That would actually be kinda touching, in my opinion, as a tribute to military veterans and casualties of the past decade. Master of Puppets album cover stage props. One, For Whom The Bell Tolls, Fade to Black setlist. Audience nothing but vets. A halftime show with substance? Never. Waaay too controversial, would never get the green light. Edit: 'touching' is probably not the right adjective. intense is more like it; lyrics would be triggering all kinds of raw emotions.

Griffin Morgan
Griffin Morgan

As bad as the past few Super Bowl Halftime Shows have been, I feel like they should go after an over paid "play pusher" like Deadmau5 or David Guetta. If worse is what they aim for, than this is $$$

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