Gothic Council on the Perfect Gothic Workout Music

Categories: Gothtopia

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I hate working out unless it involves backflips and body slams. I used to do all my exercise in a bingo hall with no a/c, in a wrestling ring that was harder than Frank Zappa in a used-panty store.

Since I long ago left my wrestling dreams behind, I'm forced to go to the gym unless I want to become a doughy, pale man-boy since writing is not exactly good for burning calories.

The only thing that gets me through a session on a treadmill or StairMaster is Mortiis's album The Smell of Rain. It's the perfect workout soundtrack, full of driving energy and a sense of self-sacrifice, and montage-worthy lyrics like "How far are you willing to go?" make pointless running in place actually feel meaningful. What other goth music makes a good gym mix?

I decided to ask the Gothic Council.

Joining us this is week are fashion designer Batty; DJ Martin Oldgoth; living historian Morrighanne Burns; Liisa Ladouceur, author of the Encyclopedia Gothica; Regen Robinson of Space Radio; Church of Melkarth's Justin Whitney; and artist Jez Smith.

Traditionally, goths exercise by climbing trees.
Batty: I don't listen to music while lifting weights because it distracts me, but when I do cardio, I listen to Oingo Boingo or (gasp) VNV Nation.

Martin Oldgoth: I don't "do" exercise, but if I did, I think I'd avoid all manner of sub-metal industrial/bleep shite and just listen to New Model Army, something to get the blood pumping and me angry enough to run or lift things.

Morrighanne Burns: To quote Martin, "bleep shite" all the way! Skinny Puppy, Combichrist, Mortiis, XPQ-21, KMFDM are all favorites. I have also started the whole diet/exercise thing again and it blows. At least being able to play your own music on a few of the Kinect fitness games helps.

Jef With One F: Wait...so all you grumpy death-rock bastards go electronic when it comes to workouts?

Batty: I'm a grumpy gothic rock bitch, but, yeah, I mix in the electronic. If anything, it's so annoying I can pretend like I am trying to run from it when doing cardio.

Martin Oldgoth: Not all of us. I'd rather put on loads of weight and live an unfit life than listen to crap.

Jef With One F: I feel like I scored a point, but I'm damned if I can figure out how.

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