For Valentine's Day: A Few Musical Bone-Zone Bummers
Today the Internet is awash with song suggestions to help you get your honeys into a sexin' mood, but I've collected some stories from completely real people that I in no way made up to serve as a warning that your Valentine's playlist has got to be foolproof.
I've chosen four to prove that with one wrong note, and your VD date could go from sweet to sour. So, just try to avoid these while you're making your mix.
Lou Bega, "Mambo #5 (A Little Bit of...)"
Back in 2000, I had just moved to the big smoke from out of the woop woop and I was with this right fit Sheila I met at uni. Before we was together I had shared a unit with Rita and gotten her name inked on my rib cage.
My new girl was always bashing my ears to get it covered but I've never had heaps of money, 'specially not then. Well, this one time we's goin' at it pretty hard and this goddamn song starts blarin' out the radio. It's all fine for a sec, but then this bloke goes singin' 'bout 'Rita."
Oi! My girl grabs her curlin' iron she had plugged in on the nightstand and gives me this..."
Buster Poindexter, "Hot Hot Hot"
I was a big fan of David's [Johansen] from back in the Dolls days. He tells these crazy stories, we've gotten to be good friends over the years. Anyway, he's doing this Buster Poindexter shtick and asks if I want to be in his video.
I can say this now, I'm divorced, there was this costume chick, probably one of the camera guy's girlfriends. Trish? Yvonne? I don't remember. She says the first time she got felt up was while watching Stripes in the theater.
I know an invitation when I hear one, so we slipped into my trailer for a quickie. While we were in there they had set up a Panavision right in front of my door. I was stuck in that trailer for six rounds of that fucking song with this girl trying to get me to give her a part in Ghostbusters 2.