The Destiny's Child Compilation Beyoncé Doesn't Want You to Hear

destinys_child_comp.jpg
Beyoncé, with others
With all the excitement buzzing around the rumored Destiny's Child reunion during Beyoncé's Super Bowl Halftime set on Sunday, one could be forgiven for picking up a copy of the iconic girl group's latest compilation album, the imaginatively titled Love Songs. After all, it includes a whole stack of DC's smoothest, silkiest R&B ballads, and it's even got a brand-new single attached, to boot.

Rewind:

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But don't do it. Do not buy this record. I know it's bright and shiny and new, and that it's been a while since we got a fresh single from these hometown heartbreakers. But since when, exactly, has Destiny's Child been known for their love songs? You think anybody's going to want to hear "Cater 2 U" at the Super Bowl? Hell no!

The only acceptable reason to buy this album is to hear the new song, "Nuclear." Except guess what -- it's terrible! Even Bon Iver wishes this song was a little less sleepy. I mean, Destiny's Child reunited to give us this? Where's the beat?

The song is completely unnecessary and unwanted, just like the compilation that spawned it. You know what'd make a better compilation? A collection of the best (and funniest) stabs at continued pop relevance by Destiny's orphaned Children... i.e., those who remain unmarried to Jay-Z.

Since it sometimes feels easy to forget all about Kelly, Michelle, whats-her-face and the other one, Rocks Off has gone ahead and taken the liberty of putting together our own compilation of the best post-Destiny tracks from the five pop divas who ain't Beyoncé. It'll cost you the same amount of money (none) as you should be spending on Love Songs, and you'll enjoy it a lot more.

Track 1. LeToya, "Swagger"
Let's start off with exactly what Love Songs lacks: "Swagger." After being bounced from Destiny's Child in 2000 following an attempt to secure outside management, LeToya Luckett reinvented herself as "That H-Town Chick," and she boosted her Bayou City bona fides on this 2009 buzz track featuring Texas all-stars Killa Kyleon, Slim Thug and Bun B.

A bouncy hip-hop/R&B song by a Destiny's Child Original, "Swagger" has got just the right energy to bat leadoff on our forbidden comp. Time to keep the party going...


Track 2. Michelle Williams, "We Break the Dawn"
LeToya's replacement in Destiny's Child, Michelle Williams, prefers a bit more Euroclub electronica mixed into her R&B than her predecessor. Those two elements rarely mix together more smoothly than on "We Break the Dawn," the lead single from Michelle's 2008 album Unexpected and a distinct departure from her earlier solo work's gospel bent.

It totally worked, as far as we're concerned, but despite some decent promotion, it never cracked the Billboard Hot 100. Fans liked it better overseas, where it charted in the UK and in Hungary, of all places. I'm giving it extra DC bonus points for being written by Solange Knowles, Beyoncé's sis.


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