Booty Drumming Is Not Nearly As Awesome As It Sounds

If you take Jorge Perez's word for it, four bouncy asses and a lone cymbal are proof that music can be found anywhere (as long as you have four willing women to bare their bums in the name of art, of course).

Solidifying his status as the envy of dudes everywhere, Jorge convinced four women to bare their bums for his drumming pleasure and recorded it for all the world to see. Drummers really do get all the chicks.

As a jazz-fusion percussionist with the band Patax, Jorge is known for playing percussion on peculiar instruments, so this booty-bongo video may be of little surprise to anyone familiar with his work.

What is surprising, however, is the nearly 7 million views this video has on YouTube. There must be a crap ton of dudes wishing they'd taken up the drums right about now for him to be pulling those kinds of numbers.

The hype over this spankin' video got me thinking: What's the point of this endeavor? Doesn't this happen in every rap video known to man? And just how in the hell are those asses not red after being smacked around for so long?! (I tend to ponder on life's most important questions, obviously.)

Because I'm committed to bringing you only the most high-quality journalism, I've analyzed this video, in all its bouncy-assed glory, complete with frame shots below.


2-second mark: Being the gentleman that he is, Jorge really takes the bum-drumming intro slowly, easing us (or perhaps the women in this glorified spanking video) into the beat with only a few taps of the ass. He rolls out his neck to ease off the tension, leaving me with the feeling that using derrieres as drums may be a slightly stressful profession for him.

Jorge Perez intro 21.jpg

24-second mark: It becomes apparent to me that the third bum in from the left is his favorite. He spends the most time on those cheeks, neglecting the others in favor of what she's offering. He's obviously not an ass man; she's packing the smallest of the goods.

Jorge 2.jpg

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I don't see any overhead mics. I wonder where they could of placed them?

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