Ask Willie D: Is My Girlfriend Too Immature?
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column, where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions, be they, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Recently my girlfriend of a year moved in with me. She is a great girl, but I'm having a hard time getting over the age and maturity differences; she is 24 and I am 33. Those issues are popping up more and more now that we are living together. Sometimes I wonder if she is just too immature for me. I've dated young women before. I don't know if they were just fronting, but they seemed a little more grownup. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks!
Joe, intimate relationships are always challenging, but you significantly reduce your chances of success when there is a ten-year age gap; you're not quite there, but you're a hop, skip and a jump away.
If you want to save your relationship, the two of you are going to have to have a come-to-Jesus meeting where each of you details your future goals and what your long-term expectations are of each other.
One of the worst insults you can give to someone you're in a relationship with who's younger than you is to call them immature. Don't do it. You are her boyfriend, not her daddy.
You didn't mention the characteristics that make her immature. Is she the "fart and think it's funny" immature or the "absent of reason and accountability" immature?
I'm sure the good sex makes it easier for you to hang in there, but don't count on sex alone, because you're in your prime and she's a good 15 to 20 years away from hers. By the time she gets there, you might not be able to keep up.
You said she's a great girl. Great girls don't pop up every day, so be careful how you handle her. If being immature is her only shortcoming, you have one plausible option: Hang in there a few more years until she comes around; trust me, she will.
Life is good at making us realize that it's not just one big party. In the meantime, hold her hand tight so she don't get snatched when you take her to Chuck E. Cheese's.
DRUG-TESTING THE POOR AND UNEMPLOYED
Texas Governor Rick Perry wants to start testing folks who receive government assistance. Those who fail the urinalysis would not be eligible to receive help. Where does the Gangster of Love stand on this issue?
EJ, one of my favorite people in the world, political satirist P.J. O'Rourke, said, "If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power." If that happened, a whole lot of politicians would be in the soup line.
I'm not falling for the banana in the tailpipe. The poor and unemployed didn't put America's economy in the dumps; greedy Wall Street executives, crooked politicians and special-interest groups did.
If anyone should be drug-tested to determine their capablities of managing the American people's money, it should be the ones who benefited from the rape and pillaging of our financial institutions.
MY BABY STOLE MY SEX LIFE
Willie D, my husband and I have a one-year-old who is the love of our lives. The problem is when my husband wants to make love; I'm too tired or tied down with mom duties. But the bigger problem is, I'm still about 15 pounds over my pre-baby weight and I don't feel sexy anymore. The frustration is starting to show in my husband's actions and comments. Please help me rekindle my affection for the man I love.
Jennifer, the good news is that your husband still finds you attractive even though you've put on a few pounds. The idea that you are unattractive is something you put into your own head, so you can take it out. And don't worry; I will help you with that right now.
I'm dangling a swinging pocket watch in front of you...
You are getting very sleepy. You are in a room full of attractive women, but none are as attractive as you. Your husband enters the room. Other women are reaching for him but he shakes them off, walks directly over to you and claims his prize.
The two of you enter a secluded room full of ceiling-high mirrors and oversized velvet floor pillows, accented with three-foot-tall gold ceramic monkeys. You confidently remove your clothes and proceed to make "I'm trying to get pregnant" love to your husband.
You are in a deep sleep now, but when I snap my fingers one time, you will awake and take your place among the goddesses who came before you.
Snapping my fingers...
Okay, we good? Cool. Now in regards to you being tired all the time, you need to find some time for your man, and not just on birthdays and Valentine's Day.
When a woman has a baby, she will often make the colossal mistake of investing all of her time and energies into catering to the baby. She rationalizes that the baby is a poor little helpless creature who badly needs her, and the father is a strong, grown man who is fully capable of taking care of himself. Big mistake!
Yes, the baby's needs are important, but just because you have a child, don't expect your man to stop having his own needs. The same goes for your expectations of him. We all need to be somebody's baby.
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.