The Real Fame Monster: How Much Evil Could One Pop Star Do?
|Photo by Marco Torres|
|Meet the droogs.|
Drunk with power, she'll decide it's time for her army to head in to the real world. In cities and towns all across the land, kids will put on their best makeup, don their favorite leather outfits, and hit the streets for a bit of ultra-violent youthful mischief.
They'll knock over trash cans and toilet-paper houses. People will lock their doors in fear of roving bands of teens looking to set off glitterbombs, only to be forced outside to stamp out bags of flaming dog crap. In the Midwest, some kid will take things too far and break a window.
But alas, these kinds of revolutions can't last. Police will be called and curfews will be enforced. Eventually someone- the police, her tour manager, one of her illuminati masters- will show up and take her phone away.
The rest of the tour will be cancelled, citing "exhaustion." Buzzfeed publishes a list of "23 Revolutions Better Than Lady Gaga's" that makes a funny but predictable Prince joke. Gawker will post a snarky update and mention that Madonna would have done it better.
And up in his Canadian lair, Justin Beiber, hater of music and the only person alive with more Twitter followers than Gaga, will look on with glee because now he knows what not to do.