Antiquated Music Things Kids These Days Will Never Have to Deal With

Some weeks back, while doing Christmas shopping for younger relatives, I realized just how different the musical world looks to someone who is, say, just now reaching ten years old. I discovered this when I realized that things like vinyl, cassettes, and even compact discs aren't coveted items to most kids. They are, in fact, stupid.

And all the trappings that go with those things -- scratches, tapes breaking, special-ordering, etc. -- are foreign concepts, old-people problems.

Some things that I miss the most, like the concept of a "fan club" -- when now, with social media, everyone is invited to the party -- ordering merch from Rockabilia, or collecting every cassingle from an album, are quaint now.

And are kids (or parents) in 2013 really worried about "Parental Advisory" stickers on albums? Parents, do you still buy (or download) your kids the edited versions of popular records? It seems to me that that concept became antiquated sometime in the late '90s.

And I am sure when these things were en vogue, there was someone older than me bemoaning the death of the 45rpm single and complaining about the vapidity of Technotronic.


The Compact Disc Turns 30

I do not miss skipping compact discs, especially when I used a portable player like a Sony Discman on the school bus or at the gym. Jeez, just thinking about bringing something big and dumb like a Discman to a gym sounds hilarious now. You couldn't move very fast, and you could get sweat on the thing.

No one should be complaining about MTV not playing videos anymore, since every video ever made -- and even the making of it -- are all on YouTube for free. You don't even need the family VCR to record all of Britney Spears' music videos for later use. It's just all there.

The magic of a release date is all but gone. Albums leak weeks after they are even mastered, and there are only a few recent albums that I can remember actually going to a record store to buy on their date of release. If I do, it's one of my all-time favorites and there is no special offer with the purchase.

I asked our Rocks Off team, most of whom are in their twenties, to chime in with other things that kids these days won't ever have to deal with, unless said kids are too hip for the Internet.

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Listening to entire albums instead of a few or one song.


Having an all-time favorite album on different configurations as the years go by: vinyl LP, then 8 track, then cassette, then CD, then digital. And all the little "special bonus" things too, like the Best Buy bonus tracks version and those weird Spanish cassettes with a whole album on each side (i.e., Fleetwood Mac on side A, Rumours on side B).


What about CD Long Boxes... or CD's for that matter. Case Logic cassette tape suitcases.


I miss street teams. Maybe that was more prevalent in the punk scene but they were awesome. Basically, for the kids who don't remember, before Facebook event invites, a band would send you a street team kit that had flyers, posters, stickers and other stuff. It was then your job to make photocopies of the flyer and annoy every local business and leave a small stack of them at the front door, deface street signs and bathroom windows with stickers, and hand them out at similar shows in the weeks leading up to it. It was a pain in the ass to make copies of the flyers and cut them out but we did it because we loved the band!


*shakes cane*
What about this one: When an instrumental of Nelly's "Hot in Herre" on, say, a Nokia brick phone may have sounded more like an off-key version of "Jingle Bells" instead. Not so gangster.

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