An Open Letter to Tall People at Concerts

By Altamese Osborne Wed., Jan. 9 2013 at 6:00 AM

Photo by Marco Torres

Kendrick Lamar, who is 5'6"

There are lots of insidious things we could do to you: tie your shoelaces together; punch you in your knees; kick you in your shins; step on your toes -- anything involving the lower half of your body, really. Our height restrictions pretty much limit our range of destruction. Ahem. But don't let that keep the terror from creeping into your heart!

We're everywhere.

Our forces are growing.

We're not going to endure one more concert staring into the small of your backs. Our little balled-up fists, they're ready.

We know you don't want this problem, so avoid it: Step aside to let us shorties through, rather than clamor to the front of the stage. You would still be able to see everything just fine. And it would also cut down on the inevitable fights that break out at concerts such as these; if there has to be a round of fisticuffs, let it be because Stoner Dude blew his smoke in your face, not because Little Dude, standing on his tiptoes to see around you, accidentally tripped in your direction.

If you don't, things could get very sticky for you.

You have been warned.

Sincerely,

A Frustrated Short Person

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JacobD

Beer chuggin six footers? We all aren't cornfed Iowa boys, short dick.

themightyquinn

Dont go to GA shows if you cant handle someone standing in front of you. And dont poke taller people in the back. And don't act like you own a piece of real estate if you were "there first." And you should enjoy a hip hop show instead of acting like we should all line up tallest in the back, shortest in the front; like its a 3rd grade class picture. Making taller people feel guilty for simply trying to enjoy a show is a dickhead move.

nackle78

1 Like

I'm proud to be a "giraffe." Us tallies have our own set of problems especially as I am a woman. My dating pool is about 50% if I want someone taller than me (i'm 5'10") Whatever, we each have our own hangups because of being tall or short. As far as concerts go, if I let every person shorter than me stand in front of me, I'd be at the back of the venue pretty quick.

whobrookejones

3 Like

And even more annoying than a tall person in front of me? A whiny person behind me. Get there early, especially if you're there covering the show. Everyone at a concert should make an effort to be kind to their neighbors both next to, in front of and behind them.

No_PC_BS

1 Like

Get there earlier and quit your whining.

Asher Aaron

1 Like

Everybody wants tall people out of their way until a 300 pound guy starts to crowdsurf

standbyme

i make an effort not to block a midge, even offering for 1 of the cute lil guys to stand in front of me if possible. but i will NOT go to the back of the bus. i paid $ too. and if i catch attitude from someone then its farts in your mouth for you, buck-o.

jayfredericks

I’m a tall person and usually try to be self conscious of those around me; at least prior to the show starting. But one thing about GA shows and standing room only; it’s like the ocean. It’s constantly moving and changing and will soon become every man for themselves. I try and make sure I don’t block anyone but someone taller than me will get in front of me, so I’ll have to move…and so on and so on. You don’t want to be stuck behind someone tall, get to the show early enough to be up front. And I guarantee you at one point someone tall will still get in front of you at some point.

Heili Geistert

aw. 'tis so true. i often joke with my boyfriend about how many shows i've been to, but haven't "seen". every now and then, i'll find a nice tall person or two who will move aside to let me stand in front of them, which is nice. but when that doesn't happen, it can be very frustrating.

Valeria Nava Howard

omg YES! I just assumed it was my lot in life instigated by my Mexican heritage to be forever behind a tall dude.

Jimi Austin

1 Like

Settle down Angry Smurf.

judithonfacebook

I feel your pain as i'm shorter than you. It's very hard taking pics & videos at show and having to stand on your toes.

Judith Cruz Villarreal

i feel ur pain and i'm shorter than you :( You might have seen me streching my arms trying to takes pics & vidoe at the shows. please have a heart and keep an eye out for me. :)

Pauline Alderete

Well worse is when they are tall, standing in front of you and remain emotionless through the concert with their hands in their pockets. It's like it would kill them to look like they enjoyed the concert. - Move out of the way so I can or go kick dirt in a corner. Or even worse when they pull out a cell phone, some huge Samsung note phone, so now, you can only see through their phone... -.-