An Open Letter to Tall People at Concerts

Categories: WTF Island

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We're not gonna take it!
Dear Ridiculously Tall People at Concerts,

Enjoying the privilege of being tall must be such a joy.

You get to do everything short people can't: Picking apples off the tops of trees; early predictions of oncoming storms; slapping high-fives with Jesus -- and perhaps the most self-indulgent of them all, the ability to attend jam-packed concerts and see everything and everyone there.

Us short folks wouldn't know anything about that.

As a relatively new music journalist/writer/blogger/whathaveyou, I enjoy the privilege of attending any number of concerts any given night of the week, provided that I compose a readable summary of every concert attended by the next day. As a relatively new music journalist/writer/blogger/whathaveyou who also happens to be comically short, however, that privilege comes with one drawback: When I attend the general-admission, standing-room-only hip-hop concerts that see you, tall people, running over me and my kind like a stampede of pissed-off giraffes.

I first noticed you guys' blatant disrespect toward us short types when I covered rapper Kendrick Lamar's concert at Warehouse Live two weekends ago. Lamar's wasn't the first concert of this type I've attended; last fall's The Weeknd concert was my introduction to "standing room only." Even then, the spacious interior of Bayou Music Center offset the sizeable crowd; if we got stuck behind one of you, we could easily move to another corner to view the singer's performance.

The very opposite could be said of Lamar's show. Both the rapper, the venue and I have the same thing in common -- we're pint-sized -- which should have meant a "show" of empathy for the puny pals in attendance, but alas, the crowd that squeezed into Warehouse Live was twice the size -- in numbers, that is -- of Bayou Music Center's, leaving me and those like me at the mercy of your thrown elbows and double-fisted drinks.

Perhaps you saw me? I was the knotty-haired, speckled-jean-wearing gal busily scribbling into a notebook, ignoring the security guards poking fun at me.

"Doing homework?"

Or maybe you didn't: No matter where I turned, I, 5-foot-3 on a very good day, always ended up lodged behind one of you beer-chugging six-footers. (Or in front of you: You can read about it here. Go to the very end of the story to be utterly horrified.)

I can already hear your yells of protest: "I don't give a damn about your little-person problems! I'll stand wherever I damn well please! I'm an American!" While one might argue that stacking concert attendees randomly is a nugget chunk of the American Dream, denying the vertically challenged an opportunity to witness our favorite musical artists is not only unfair, it's the very essence of inequality.

But here's where the tables turn: When you get mean, we get meaner. They don't call it a Napoleon complex for nothin'. Just because we're short doesn't mean we can't teach you a lesson in concert protocol.


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15 comments
JacobD
JacobD

Beer chuggin six footers? We all aren't cornfed Iowa boys, short dick.

themightyquinn
themightyquinn

Dont go to GA shows if you cant handle someone standing in front of you. And dont poke taller people in the back. And don't act like you own a piece of real estate if you were "there first." And you should enjoy a hip hop show instead of acting like we should all line up tallest in the back, shortest in the front; like its a 3rd grade class picture. Making taller people feel guilty for simply trying to enjoy a show is a dickhead move.

nackle78
nackle78

I'm proud to be a "giraffe." Us tallies have our own set of problems especially as I am a woman.  My dating pool is about 50% if I want someone taller than me (i'm 5'10") Whatever, we each have our own hangups because of being tall or short. As far as concerts go, if I let every person shorter than me stand in front of me, I'd be at the back of the venue pretty quick.

whobrookejones
whobrookejones

And even more annoying than a tall person in front of me? A whiny person behind me. Get there early, especially if you're there covering the show.  Everyone at a concert should make an effort to be kind to their neighbors both next to, in front of and behind them. 




No_PC_BS
No_PC_BS

Get there earlier and quit your whining.

Asher Aaron
Asher Aaron

Everybody wants tall people out of their way until a 300 pound guy starts to crowdsurf

standbyme
standbyme

i make an effort not to block a midge, even offering for 1 of the cute lil guys to stand in front of me if possible. but i will NOT go to the back of the bus. i paid $ too. and if i catch attitude from someone then its farts in your mouth for you, buck-o.

jayfredericks
jayfredericks

I’m a tall person and usually try to be self conscious of those around me; at least prior to the show starting. But one thing about GA shows and standing room only; it’s like the ocean. It’s constantly moving and changing and will soon become every man for themselves. I try and make sure I don’t block anyone but someone taller than me will get in front of me, so I’ll have to move…and so on and so on. You don’t want to be stuck behind someone tall, get to the show early enough to be up front. And I guarantee you at one point someone tall will still get in front of you at some point.

Heili Geistert
Heili Geistert

aw. 'tis so true. i often joke with my boyfriend about how many shows i've been to, but haven't "seen". every now and then, i'll find a nice tall person or two who will move aside to let me stand in front of them, which is nice. but when that doesn't happen, it can be very frustrating.

Valeria Nava Howard
Valeria Nava Howard

omg YES! I just assumed it was my lot in life instigated by my Mexican heritage to be forever behind a tall dude.

judithonfacebook
judithonfacebook

I feel your pain as i'm shorter than you. It's very hard taking pics & videos at show and having to stand on your toes.

Judith Cruz Villarreal
Judith Cruz Villarreal

i feel ur pain and i'm shorter than you :( You might have seen me streching my arms trying to takes pics & vidoe at the shows. please have a heart and keep an eye out for me. :)

Pauline Alderete
Pauline Alderete

Well worse is when they are tall, standing in front of you and remain emotionless through the concert with their hands in their pockets. It's like it would kill them to look like they enjoyed the concert. - Move out of the way so I can or go kick dirt in a corner. Or even worse when they pull out a cell phone, some huge Samsung note phone, so now, you can only see through their phone... -.-

Liliana Velasquez
Liliana Velasquez

Lol damn the tall people at concerts! They ALWAYS need to be in the back.

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