The 10 Worst Holiday Cover Songs Ever

Categories: Holidaze

JingleFarts 1206.jpg
Oh, it just gets better.
It's the thought that counts, right?

Because they had the common decency to make original garbage, this list pardons holiday atrocities like New Kids on the Block's "Funky Funky Christmas" and "Last Christmas" by Wham! The ten "artists" on this list couldn't even be bothered to wrap their own turds to put under our collective Christmas tree. Instead, they had the audacity to wrap up another person's excrement and regift it to the public.

This week Rocks Off waded into the murky depths of holiday Internet radio stations, down the YouTube rabbit hole and into our own vinyl archives to bring you the very worst of the worst. Here are the ten most awful Christmas covers we could find.

Merry Christmas, and may God have mercy on your soul.

10. "Jingle Farts"

It's exactly what you think it is, and even more poorly pieced together than you can possibly imagine. As our girlfriend bemoaned, "My God, the farts aren't even in tune!" Indeed. And before you cry foul, claiming this song to be a random Internet creation and therefore not a true cover, this song exists on Christmas albums. Several of them. Want to be really depressed? This is No. 10 on the list. We found nine songs worse than this.

9. Elvis Presley & LeAnn Rimes, "Here Comes Santa Claus"

Rocks Off is a total Elvis fanboy. Having grown up with a grandmother who was absolutely over the moon for the man, we tend to see most of his faults as "quirks" and the more questionable pieces of his library as "misunderstood."

His original "Here Comes Santa Claus" cover is pretty middle-of-the road-fare; he didn't phone it in, but "Blue Christmas" it's not. For a recent duets album, Elvis' cover of "Here Comes Santa Claus" was hacked up and patched back together in a pointless pairing with 1996's fourth-biggest country star, LeAnn Rimes. The original music has been replaced by a "modernized" accompaniment that sounds like it was churned out of a Casio keyboard.

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Jesus that Blenders song is depressing, it’s like spending Christmas Eve in a Holiday Inn in Parsons Kansas.

Robert Medlin
Robert Medlin

Everyone I know is getting a copy of that August Burns Red CD.

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