Christmas Past: 10 Christmas Songs That Are Really About Drugs
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Jimmy Buffett, "Christmas In the Caribbean": At one point, the mayor of Margaritaville mentions seeing "Santa riding on a dolphin," so he must have been tripping on something. Worse, his supplier is late: "Got everything but snow."
"Dig That Crazy Santa Claus": This whole song, originally recorded by both Oscar McLollie & His Honey Jumpers and Ralph Marterie & His Orchestra in 1954 and then Brian Setzer a few years back, is like a thumbnail guide to Christmas for hopheads. Santa Claus is "really gone" and "drags his sack through a chimney stack," which makes "all the little hepcats jump for joy." Features a cameo by our ruddy-faced pal Rudolph.
Cletus T. Judd, "Christmas In Rehab": Close enough.
BONUS: CHRISTMAS SONGS THAT EXPLICITLY MENTION DRINKING
Elmo & Patsy, "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer": "She'd been drinking too much egg nog..."
Traditional, "The Wassail Song": "Love and joy come to you, and to you your wassail too..."
Charles Brown, "Merry Christmas Baby": "I haven't had a drink this morning, but I'm all lit up like a Christmas tree..."
Run-DMC, "Christmas In Hollis": "In the fireplace is the Yule log, beneath the mistletoe as we drink egg nog..."
Billy Squier, "Christmas Is the Time to Say I Love You": "Here beside the fire we share the glow of moonlight and brandy, sweet talk and candy..."
Commander Cody & the Lost Planet Airmen, "Daddy's Drinking Up Our Christmas": "No tree, no stockings, no presents, just bottles of Christmas cheer..."
Robert Earl Keen, "Merry Christmas From the Family": "Mom got drunk and dad got drunk at our Christmas party..."
Weird Al Yankovic, "The Night Santa Went Crazy": "From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo, like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo..."
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