5 Better Places to Hide If You're Stalking Lady Gaga
Most likely you were at home with your family on Thanksgiving, watching the game and stuffing your face. But if you were a completely psychotic "Little Monster," you might have preferred to spend that time with 35 others camped out in the garage of Lady Gaga's mansion.
Photo by Marco Torres
Yes, boys and girls, some 35 people were crazy enough to spend their Thanksgiving hiding out there, presumably eating bags of Cheetos and waiting for a sighting of Gaga. If only she hadn't caught them while idly looking at her security cameras in the midst of a nude feast. I'm not even making that part up.
Obviously these 30 people were obsessive and out of their minds, although Gaga took it in stride, but I take issue with the fact that they're not even good at being obsessed and out of their minds. I mean, the garage? What, did they think Lady Gaga was going to come down to take a drive on Thanksgiving? Where would she even go? Everything would be closed!
I'm not a deranged stalker of pop stars, but if I were, I'd like to give these people some tips on a few better places I can think of to hide out in what must be a vast mansion full of perfect places to wait for her. Like OJ Simpson before me, this is, of course, a purely hypothetical account because this is all highly illegal and completely insane.
5. The Bushes
Photo via Wikipedia.org What Lady Gaga's garden looks like in my mind.
OK,, come on, any stalker or peeping tom knows that the bushes are the best place to position yourself to spy on your object of fanatical obsession. Sure, it's obvious and old hat, but cliches are cliches for a reason.
I like to imagine Gaga has one of those massive gardens with a hedge maze and plant sculptures, which would be an idyllic place to go walking on a beautiful autumn Thanksgiving Day. If you positioned yourself there, not only are you hidden from the view of most anyone, but where is she going to go? She's in the middle of a maze! She'll have to stay to sign all your merch and answer your weird questions!
4. Her Wardrobe Closet
It's sort of like this.
It may take some doing to get in here, but if you've done your homework enough to find out where Gaga lives and how to get into her garage, it really shouldn't be that complicated to get into what I'm sure would appear to be a clothing department store to anyone who hasn't sold a platinum record. Even better that she admitted to being in the nude when she caught the stalkers: She was going to have to come in here to get dressed at some point, and that's when you could accost her with your bizarre requests!