Happy Birthday, Mr. Scarface: 10 Gift Ideas for H-Town's Finest
It's Scarface's birthday, y'all. What, you didn't get him anything, either? Thank God. The humiliation of letting Houston's most lyrical, most respected and all-around best MC turn 42 without handing him something to unwrap was hitting us pretty hard, but since you dropped the ball, too, maybe we don't look as bad.
Photo by Marco Torres Scarface at Warehouse Live in September
Here's the good news: While our wallets may be a tad light at the moment (damn Renfest!), we're never short of amazing gift ideas here at Rocks Off. Do us a favor and pick out one of these ten presents, wrap it up nicely, and put our name on it, too. We'll pay you back on the 15th, we swear.
Come to think of it, maybe just have it delivered. It's already late, and... well, Scarface is scary.
Guess what? While you've been completely ignoring the Astros, the team went ahead and unveiled the new uniforms that players such as... uh... that short Hispanic guy will be wearing next year when the club makes its move to the American League. All of a sudden, your 59FIFTY collection is looking pretty dated, there, bro.
It's part of Scarface's job to represent H-Town to the fullest all over the country, so it's important for him to rock the latest gear available. That's why a new Astros cap makes such a thoughtful gift. Just do us all a favor and pick up one of those solid black caps or, like, purple or something. Navy and orange just... ain't all that trill.
You knew it was coming eventually: Hollywood is finally remaking Scarface. Is there any chance the new flick won't suck? Not really. Unless, of course, the filmmakers wise up and find a cameo role for Tony Montana's most famous namesake. What better birthday gift could there be?
Maybe the man born Brad Jordan could play the guy who dismembers Angel with the chainsaw. Or perhaps he could be cast as Miami's greatest rapper. Point is, if he's not in the movie, we ain't buying a ticket.