Gen. Petraeus: A Possible Glimpse at the Spymaster's iPod

Conway Twitty, "Linda On My Mind": In Petraeus's mind, the line could just as easily have been "lyin' here with Paula on my mind, and next to me, my soon-to-be the one I left behind." However, we're still willing to bet "You've Never Been This Far Before" was playing the night they consummated their ambitions...err, their love. Sorry.

Ted Nugent, "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang": The modern soldier can't go to war without Ted "Nut Job" Nugent (an ancient Celtic word for aggressive know-it-all dickhead) on the 'Pod. Petraeus was actually rumored at one point during his affair with Broadwell to be on the verge of suggesting to the Commanding General of the Marines that the Marine motto "Semper Fidelis" be changed to "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang." Petraeus believed this would be a strong morale-builder. Gen. Allen was also in favor of the switch.

Nazareth, "Love Hurts": This classic power ballad is a recent addition to the CIA director's iPod rotation. It is also a favorite of Mrs. Petraeus, who reportedly has had it on loop since Peaches 'fessed up.

Hamell on Trial, "Coulter's Snatch": Like all right-leaning lemmings, Petraeus had a thang for that sexy manx pin-up could-be-tranny gal with lightning in her tongue who wanted all liberals put in concentration camps. According to sources inside the Petraeus camp, Broadwell's arrival on the battlefield prompted the general to have a staffer remove Ms. Coulter's poster from his private bathroom.

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