Explaining Classic Rock Bands to Kids

David Bowie

I could sit here and explain every single David Bowie reinvention, but I think it's best that you figure him out yourself. You've heard his stuff in Wes Anderson movies, and "Changes" was in a Lindsay Lohan movie. Lady Gaga and Madonna really wish they could be as cool as him, but they will never be.

Bowie may also make you feel kinda funny in a way that you have never felt before. That's natural. It gets better. You aren't alone.

(See also: Lou Reed, T. Rex, Iggy Pop, Brian Eno, Urban Outfitters)

The Who

You know that song on the beginning of all the CSI shows your mom watches while she folds clothes? That's the Who. They had pretty much the world's second most-badass drummer until he died from drinking too much. Most of the best classic rockers did.

Their early stuff from the '60s was kinda like **well-dressed punk-rock, and then they got older and started using synths and thinking about being young. Worth checking out, especially the album with the dudes peeing on a concrete slab.

(See also: The Animals, The Pretty Things, hearing loss)

**Check out the Kinks once you get through with The Who, led by two brothers who tried to kill each other for more than 30 years. They started out kinda punk, then got into country -- seriously -- and then got really. really awful.

Oh, man, these dudes were the best. Super-loud, lots of slide guitar, drums that sounded like thunder, but with a little folk thrown in. Though Zeppelin has had songs in car commercials, don't count them out. All their album covers had crazy-looking old ruins on them, too, which you can easily draw on the back of textbooks.

They only sang about wizards, mountains and time. If you like The Lord of the Rings or you are lucky enough to get to watch Game of Thrones -- plus you like loud guitars -- this will be your new favorite band.

(See also: Blue Cheer, Mountain, Deep Purple)

Jimi Hendrix

This guy was an alien from a planet billions of light-years away whose only export was rock guitarists. You will never be as great at the guitar as he was if you played for the next **100 years.

**Though the men in your family will tell you that Stevie Ray Vaughan should be in this slot.

(See also: Prince, Santana)