Top 10 Houston Rappers & Their Wrestler Counterparts

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Photo by Daniel Kramer
Wrestlemania 2009 at Reliant Stadium
Since the days of Hulkamania, I've been a wrestling fan.

That's not slandering anybody who gave up on the attraction or entertainment aspect after the second-generation boom in the late '90s, that's just me once again self-deprecating while tossing off a few knife-edged chops in defense. Take that, take that.

Plus, there's nothing more infuriating than being a member of this cycle of wrestling fans and having an argument with someone who's still in the loop to believe everything they see every Monday and Friday night.

For example, my neighbor of some umpteen years believed that Triple H seriously got his arm broken by Brock Lesnar a few months ago. I wanted to slap him and wait for him to scream "IT'S STILL REAL TO ME!" but no such luck. Instead, I brought up Exhibit A in the "wrestlers don't get their arms broken for the sake of a storyline" argument:

Justin Bieber stood next to Triple H at the Mayweather fight. Trips didn't have a sling on his arm.

Don't care how often you play Ponytail Theater on Monday nights, a broken arm renders you pretty damn useless to carry around the belts of another man. And I would know because I bitched up after getting hit by a car on a bike about seven years ago.

I say all of that to say this: Houston is a giant, crazy squared circle of rappers who all believe they're the best without realizing the hierarchy of matters. Just like wrestlers. And each come with enough politics and strings attached that any potential feud has some serious "we have to fistfight" tendencies in rap (I'm looking at you, 40 Glocc & Game).

There are your greats, there are your cult favorites and then there are your curtain-jerkers. For the sake of feelings, we're going to deal with the first two categories. And like on any video game, nobody wants to be John Cena.

And also, J. Prince was the Million Dollar Man. That can't be debated, period.


Rapper: Scarface
Wrestler: Hulk Hogan

Face it, you don't know much about wrestling now if you don't know how much of a transcendent figure Hulk Hogan is and you don't know anything about Houston rap if you don't know who Scarface is. Plus, until Bun B's Trill OG came, Facemob was the last H-Town rapper to have a 5 Mic rating in The Source (when it mattered).


Rapper: Bun B
Wrestler: Ric Flair

For a decade plus from a sheer entertainment standpoint, there wasn't a wrestler alive who could say they owned wrestling the way Flair did. While Hogan was more of a cartoon character come to life, Flair was respected not only by his haters and his admirers but rappers as well as the most sampled wrestler in rap history. Any rapper that need approval in Houston seeks out the approval from one Bun B, and nobody has more classic shit talking rap lines than the Trill OG.

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 Pimp C = Eddie Guerrero: Fiercely proud and defensive of heritage, brash and confident on the microphone, hilariously catchy/vulgar slogans and catch phrases, technically skilled yet still unorthodoxed, widely-known problems with the "indulgences" if you will, met their demises far too early.


Thugga = Triple H: Made his bones in a previously productive industry era, but found calling by becoming the face of following era, imposing size and presence on the mic, broke out as a superstar after being part of an influential collective, knows the business from top to bottom, deceptively hilarious, got down with an industry chick.


Trae = Stone Cold Steve Austin: Gruff voiced, anti-establishment, does things his own way, quasi-one-dimensional but still owns the hell out of that dimension, intensely local but still widely recognized and highly regarded, and most importantly, immeasurable levels of DGAF.

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