The 8 Most Bro-Tastic Bands of All Time

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"Hipster."

The word is older than you think: it pops up in an old Seinfeld episode where Jerry refers to Kramer as a "hipster doofus." It even predates that by many years. A few years ago, it was convenient shorthand to refer to someone who overcompensates, who tries too hard to be unique and interesting and winds up a caricature.

Common usage, unfortunately, has utterly ruined the word's usefulness; just as "emo" came to mean anything sad, "hipster" now refers to anyone with an even slightly artistic bent.

Wearing a concert shirt from last night's Death Cab For Cutie show? HIPSTER. Found a vintage pair of eyeglass frames that were unique and you thought suited you? HIPSTER. Get bored and draw on your shoes? HIPSTER. The word has lost all meaning and therefore all usefulness.

Well, there are two sides to that coin. There's another phenomenon, that of the broseph, a.k.a. dudebro or bro-dude, which is the polar opposite of the hipster.

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They're among the ones who helped ruin "hipster" by overusage without even realizing that there is an equally simplistic label which actually fits them to a T. You've seen dudebros all over town; they're immensely popular in Houston.

You know them by their preppie-frat-beach-rawk fashions, their polo shirts, their shorts and sandals, their university hoodies, and their backwards baseball caps, usually branded with the Houston Texans logo.

You've seen them getting way too drunk on weak light beer whenever they're out, holding loud mundane conversations mere feet from the stage at live shows or else shouting drunkenly at the performers, downing Jell-O shots and Jaeger bombs like it's the end of the world.

You've observed them clumsily hitting on your female friends no matter how uninterested they are, saying things that they don't even know are sexist or racist, recognizing people who go to their church while in the strip club, cursing liberals and feminists and homosexuals for the problems plaguing the nation while awaiting trial on their ninth DWI charge.

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When you ask a dudebro what kind of music he likes, he will usually say "everything." He doesn't literally mean everything; what he means is that he doesn't care. The dudebro loves pre-packaged, readily available music that doesn't challenge him or make him think.

Whatever's on the radio or playing in the club is just fine, and if they hear it enough, they'll eventually know how to sing along and boom, they've got a new favorite song without even knowing why they like it or how that came to be.

Simplistic mediocrity is key to becoming an earworm inside the broseph's mind, and here are several bands who excel at providing exactly that. To show that we're not completely unfair, we'll be including an anonymous dudebro's rebuttal with each critique.


Location Info

Map

Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion

2005 Lake Robbins Drive, The Woodlands, TX

Category: Music

Bayou Music Center

520 Texas Ave., Houston, TX

Category: Music

Toyota Center

1510 Polk, Houston, TX

Category: Music

Warehouse Live

813 St. Emanuel, Houston, TX

Category: Music

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