Happy Birthday, Kanye West: 10 Gift Ideas for the Mighty Yeez

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Photo by Marco Torres
Today is Kanye Omari West's 35th birthday, and that's a bit of a problem. We're happy to celebrate, of course, but Rocks Off is big on giving gifts, and Yeezy's already got it all: Hit records, a world tour, a celebrity paramour and sunglasses with no glass in them. What do you get the man who has everything?

Creative types that we are, we've got a few ideas. Ten of them, actually. Some of these gifts are outrageously expensive and some are simply thoughtful. Please pick one according to your budget and level of fame. Choose wisely, and perhaps you'll please Mr. West enough to be immortalized forever in one of his classic raps.

If your gift flops, though, you ain't heard about it from us.

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10. Nike Air Yeezy 2s: When it comes to fashion, Kanye is probably pretty hard to buy for. Let's face it, he's got an eclectic personal style that you can't really be outfitted at Old Navy. That's why when it comes to clothes, you should play it safe and get him something dreamed up by his favorite designer--himself.

Designed by Kanye, the Nike Air Yeezy 2s are quickly becoming one of the most anticipated sneaker releases of the year. A small number of this limited edition shoe has already been preordered by a lucky few. How lucky? Well, a pair on eBay got bid up past $90,000 this week. Holy shit. Presumably, some Saudi prince is about to look fresh as fuck as he wipes his ass with gold bullion or whatever it is those guys do with their time.

Yes, Kanye's already got at least one pair of Yeezy 2s. Probably a few. So? Maybe he doesn't like the ones he's wearing today. And what could possibly make a more thoughtful gift than an absurdly expensive luxury item invented by Kanye West himself?

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9. Louis Vuitton Skateboard: Does Kanye West skate? Can't say we've ever seen it happen, but it seems like he should. If we had to guess, he doesn't skate because there's no skateboard out there that's fly enough to be allowed near his feet. At least, there wasn't until recently.

Louis Vuitton created this deck and case combo as part of a tribute to the late fashion designer/graffiti artists Stephen Sprouse. They only made two of them, and they're $8,250 apiece. That's a hell of a lot of money for a child's toy, but look at that thing. It's a Louis Vuitton skateboard. Who the hell else besides Kanye West can practice kickflips on this board without looking like a complete idiot? Nobody except Spuds McKenzie, maybe, and it ain't Spuds' birthday.

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8. Merriam-Webster's Pocket Rhyming Dictionary: Rapping is hard. We've tried it before, and nobody thought our rhymes were good enough to design our own sneakers. It's got to be even tougher for Kanye. He's a lot busier than we are, what with having to keep up with the Kardashians and all, so he probably doesn't have a lot of time to come up with new rhymes for "Armenian."

That's what makes this handy pocket dictionary the perfect birthday gift. He can stash it in his pants (or Kim's monstrous butt crack) and whip it out anytime the urge to create strikes him.



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