Lionel Richie Vs. Chuck Norris: Who Would Win?

Categories: TV Party

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So far the musical comeback of the year has been Lionel Richie, hands down. Last week the Alabama-born crooner's new album in three years, Tuskegee, debuted at No. 2 on the Billboard 200 with sales of almost 200,000 copies. According to The Hollywood Reporter, if about 185,000 copies of Madonna's MDNA bundled with tickets to her upcoming tour were not counted, Tuskegee would have been No. 1. As it was, she registered the second-largest sales drop in history, plunging from 359,000 to just 38,000 copies this week. Ouch.

Regardless, Richie is the hottest thing in country music right now, if not all of show business. Named after his hometown, Tuskegee is an album of duets on Richie's own songs, with guests like Jason Aldean, Kenny Chesney, Little Big Town, Billy Currington, Darius Rucker, Kenny Rogers, Willie Nelson and Blake Shelton. Several of them will join him on the CBS special ACM Presents: Lionel Richie & Friends - In Concert, which airs tonight at 8 p.m. Houston time.

Rocks Off is afraid our readers may be losing sight of the bigger picture here, though: That Lionel Richie is a general all-around badass. But how does he stack up against the man generally regarded as the ultimate warrior, former CBS star and exercise-equipment tycoon Chuck Norris?

Lionel Richie grew up around the campus of Tuskegee University. His grandfather was an associate of the college's founder, Booker T. Washington.

The Mayans have predicted that by late 2012, Chuck Norris will sneeze.

Lionel Richie graduated from Tuskegee in 1968, by which time he had already joined the Commodores. He played saxophone and wrote the '70s funk standards "Brick House" and "Machine Gun."

When you are fast asleep, Chuck is faster

Lionel Richie taught himself to play piano by ear.

Chuck Norris can un-break Toni Braxton's heart.

UCLA gave Lionel Richie its George & Ira Gershwin Achievement Award in 2008. The award was established to honor the brothers' gift of fight song "Strike Up the Band for UCLA." Other past winners include Quincy Jones, Julie Andrews and Babyface.

Chuck Norris can parallel park a freight train.

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If Lionel got whipped by his ex-spouse it's because he doesn't hit women.  Lionel wins.  Slam dunk. puh-yow baby!!!


Didn't Lionel get whipped by his ex-spouse?

If so, Lionel and Chuck shouldn't be mentioned together in the same article.


Chuck Norris would win!

Ramon LP4 Medina
Ramon LP4 Medina

I dunno Chris, I think the fight would have gone down like this...

"We are the World"  -15 HP for Ritchie"Dancing On the Ceiling"  -20 HP for RichieOh wait he rolls a saving throw with the one weapon in his arsenal you overlooked, the Commodore's  "Easy".  With it's smooooove grooves and bad-ass guitar solo, Chuck Norris is down Down DOWN!  No contest!

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