A Showcase Of Silly Industrial Dancing

Categories: Gothtopia

industrial ninjas.jpg
The basis of all industrial fashion
In addition to our job duties as in-house bartender and beard hygienist, we're Houston Press' resident goth music expert, and industrial music falls under our purview because of that. It's sort of like how Joshua Norton got to be Emperor of the United States, but he also had to take on Protector of Mexico along with the deal. It's not a problem, we like industrial a lot and Houston has always been full of decent rivetheads.

That being said... look, guys. We know that gas-masks aren't cheap and neither are cyberdreads. You put a lot of effort into looking like every single ninja from the Mortal Kombat series entered Jeff's Goldblum's telepod at the same time and came out dancing. You want to show it off, and there's no shame in that.

There is, however, a reason goths and industrial fans dance in dark clubs under a haze of smoke. It's because we look freakin' ridiculous. That doesn't stop some folks from invading the daylight and showing off their best moves in public, then putting it on YouTube. We've been watching this for hours now, and it gets funnier every single time.

What Tank9 may lack in elaborate costumes, they make up for by going out of their way to shoot themselves dancing to Grendel's "Zombienation" in several locations. They invade abandoned lots, a graveyard, railroad tracks, a playground, and a street vendor full of mannequin-ass in tight denim. That last one is sort of a misstep on the "Generic Music Photo Shoot Location BINGO Card," but the puzzled merchant in the background does help sell it.

The Biologic Dance Crew has got the look down, we'll give them that and 10 percent interest. However, dancing by yourself in a club and trying to dance in sync with others are two very separate items. If you're having trouble mastering the murderously difficult technique of group pointing back and forth, maybe we shouldn't open the video with it.

Our first performer brave enough to go solo is J-Cyber. Modest in dress and setting, he nonetheless has some truly boundless energy, not to mention good taste in choosing Suicide Commando's "Cause of Death." The video was actually an audition for the 2011 German Industrial Dance Battle, which frankly sounds like something somebody should make a movie about.

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