Who The Eff Is The Ron River?: A Journey Into The Heart Of The Two Americas Of Bon Iver

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Justin Vernon of Brand Ever winning Best New Artist at last night's Grammy ceremony.
"Who the fuck is Bon Iver" went the story last night on Twitter as indie musician and soft-spoken beardo Justin Vernon's Bon Iver project won a Best New Artist Grammy. Never mind that the man has been on the scene since 2008's For Emma, Forever Ago, but it still seemed to be deserved. Last year's self-titled release was one of the most lauded, with appearances in most end-of-year lists.

It was the fiery anger of the Twitterverse that amused us the most -- sorry for the mass of retweets folks, you know you were giggling loud enough to scare the neighbors -- with attitudes ping-ponging from resignation to accusations of outright racism. Bon Iver won out over J. Cole and Nicki Minaj, plus Skrillex and The Band Perry. Vernon is a bearded white gentleman, you see.

Almost immediately, Bon Iver turned into Ron Iver, Ron River, Bahn Ever, Banh Iver, Tron Iver....OK, I made that one up, but still. You would think after seeing his name on the screen for at least a minute...but no. Earlier in the evening, the Bon Iver album won for Best Alternative Music Album as well, but there was less balking, obviously.

The situation was reminiscent of last year's Album Of The Year win at the Grammys by the Arcade Fire for their The Suburbs effort, which made the blood boil of the uninitiated. But nothing was as hyperbolic and shall we say "off the heezy" as this year's post Bon Iver acceptance (virtual) riot.

Minaj and Cole's fans were the most fierce, crying racism and blaming "white voters" while Skrillex's fans were steadfast in their love of the dubstep wunderkind, if not as articulate about their dismay. No one, and I mean no one -- probably -- was bitching on The Band Perry's behalf.

I will admit myself that I don't dig on Bon Iver, save for 2008's For Emma, and that he really shouldn't have been included in the category. It was the vitriol that was the bestest of the night, which included tributes to the late Whitney Houston, and an appearance by the reunited Beach Boys.

Here are some of the chestnuts from the evening. I warn you now, there is heavy cursing and WTF-ery afoot. I am not going to screen-cap them all.

RT @_pelican: 1) who the fuck is bon iver 2) how come I never heard of ya 3) I demand a recount

RT @76er_Ade: FIRST OFF , FUCK BON IVER BITCH ASS ! THAT NUTASS SPEECH .

RT @Queenofsnow: Bon Iver is the worst excuse of music I've heard in a long time.

RT @AOTheBassist: Electronic music fucking sucks, and shouldn't exist. Also, who the fuck is Bon Iver?

RT @NinaLipstickMUA: NICKI GONNA SLAY AND MAKE THEM TAKE THE GRANNY FROM BON WAT THE FUCK EVER HIS NAME IS

RT @BABrady27: I hope Bon Iver's bus' brakes go out, his plane runs out of fuel. Worst musician of the decade.

(ed. note: WOW)

RT @FrankieHoule: who the fuck is Bon Iver.. J Cole should have won that shit forreal!

RT @Shawn_Breez: Who the fuck is the bon iver? He is not better than jcole or nicki minaj...this had to be the white decision

RT @DJ_KrossOver: Lost in the world ??? Really?? All I hear is Auto Tune.. Bon Who Ever He Is

RT @buckwildchats: Bon hiver is the worst thing I have ever heard

RT @cesarmarcio: BRON IVER

RT @BarelyEvenFunny: Nicki Minaj is googling Ron Iver on her phone right now

RT @Am_I_BeingHeard: Who the ef is Bon Iver? Best new artist? He looks like best worst artist... but I will download his music tomorrow.

RT @Monroe_FLOW: Fuck CBS fuck bon who ever that is fuck the girl who read the card smh

RT @ATL_PRiNCeSS: Who the fuck is Bon Iver? I didnt realyze that we r living in France. Get it together ppl amercia is going to fall apart

(note: Vernon is in fact an American from Wisconsin)

Keep it here on Rocks Off on Monday morning for a further look into this year's Grammy Awards.



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5 comments
Rightshoppingcamera
Rightshoppingcamera

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Erin
Erin

HAHAHA!!!! Best comments ever!!!!

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