Who Is Paul McCartney?!: Rocks Off Tells You

PaulMcCartneyPA260511.jpg
The hella old Paul McCartney playing bass left-handed like it's 1975 or something.
So, it's the day after the Grammys, and you may still be wondering who that "hella old" man with the droopy eyes playing the weird left-handed bass was on the telecast last night. You know, the guy next to the guy from Foo Fighters and that one other ancient-looking man in the tight jeans who looks like he belongs on one of those chopper shows on cable.

Those were Dave Grohl and Bruce Springsteen. Grohl is in fact the old drummer from Nirvana, who broke up in 1994 after their lead singer and Courtney Love's husband, Kurt Cobain, killed himself. So he's pretty old too. Almost 50 now, I think. Maybe he is 50. [He's 42 - ed.]

Springsteen is from New Jersey, and kinda sounds Southern rock and all of his songs are about working and sweating or something. The Eagles' Joe Walsh was onstage too, but I don't have time to explain that right now. Watch The Big Lebowski. He's that guy.

Now this McCartney guy...

No, he isn't a Rolling Stone, and he is not in fact, David Bowie. McCartney was the bassist and sometime guitarist in the Beatles, a very influential pop-rock band, active from 1960 until 1970.

You may see pictures of the other guys in the band in history books and on Wikipedia. His bandmate, John Lennon, dated Yoko Ono and made some music until he was shot in 1980 by Jodie Foster.

Above is a clip of McCartney with his backing band, the Beatles, in, like, 1963 doing a song called "Yesterday." The drummer, George Carlin, would go on to star on Shining Time Station on PBS and the other man, George Harrison, did a music video with puppets. He was also known to smoke pot. Pretty cool, huh?

Your grandmother and grandfather loved the Beatles. They were on TV all the time, and they came out with about, I guess, 12 or so albums that are full of songs about love, drugs, and these weird stories about streets and telephones. These were made with no help from iPads or computers. Total hippie shit, I swear.

But this stuff also made your older relatives want to explore the world, question authority, and maybe even pick up a guitar or learn to play the piano.

After the band broke up and Lennon shaved his head and started a punk band with his Japanese wife, McCartney went solo, sometimes playing with a band called Wings with his wife Linda.

He did some songs that have been covered by Guns 'N Roses, I think Ke$ha, and maybe even sampled by some rappers. I dunno. Google it. Oh! There was this one song he did called "Jet," which is pretty hard, too.

Did we mention that McCartney is a vegetarian? He did that before PETA even existed I think. He was once on The Simpsons, that show comes on before Family Guy and where everyone looks yellow and deformed.

He once married a chick with only one leg, a decade ago, I think. It was all kinds of weird, but he's hella old so he probably can't get the kind of chicks he did in the '60s. Haha. He's like 75 now, so he gets girls with money. The Beatles made millions of dollars back in the day.

But yeah, just Google him if you feel like it, or ask a teacher or maybe even a parent. They may look at you kinda weird, and even get mad at you, but it's only because they care.

We suggest listening to The Beatles' "White Album" or even going on YouTube searching for them and The Ed Sullivan Show. It's all in black-and-white, and everything looks like it was filmed with Instagram.



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51 comments
Me
Me

This a article has a lot of errors, but pretty good other than that. Just tell the kids to google "most successful artist of all time? and see who comes up.

Jeezuie
Jeezuie

And did not Paul INVENT GOTH music with the song Eleanor Rigby?

Training Leash
Training Leash

Great videos. Had a great time watching this. Thanks for the share  .:D

Ellen O
Ellen O

We laughed and read choice quotes out loud to each other.  Great piece.  Very funny.  Thanks!  Joe Walsh as the Great Lebowski. Perfect.

Aaron E
Aaron E

Thanks for continuing to stir the pot of music fandom, Craig. We need more of you.

Robert g
Robert g

Yeah, you're all cute with your "old guys" references.....my son is 17 and HE knows (and respects) McCartney, loved the Golden Slumbers jam, and tolerates my love of the Boss as well.  Stupid condescending articles are not all THAT amusing ya know?

LenThea
LenThea

John_Galt_2011, I've been following, videos, books, articles, about the Beatles and especially John and Paul, since I first saw them in concert in 1965. Paul has never specifically thanked John, certainly he hasn't done it once in the last several years when he's received some award of recognition.  He does a great job of walking all around it and fools many, sheds a crocodile tear when he sings the song he wrote for John, everybody is so touched with that act (what a guy!), but even then he doesn't directly thank John for inviting him to join the Beatles, thereby opening the path to success for him. Paul is a very talented musician and would have probably made it without ever being part of the Beatles, but then we'll never know.

LenThea
LenThea

Craig, satire or not, you must have been on drugs when you wrote this article, i.e., "clip of McCartney with his backing band."  Of course McCartney has been trying to rewrite history for ages, i.e., in his mind he started the Beatles, he is the Beatles, and who is John?  Paul is an egomaniac created by people like you. While I'm happy for Paul and the honors he's earned, I for once would like to hear him specifical­ly thank John Lennon for inviting him to join "his" band and making a difference in his life by opening his path to success. Of course his ego prevents him from doing that because it would give John credit and he can't have that for it could possibly draw a sliver of limelight away from him. Certainly his arrogant ego is in evidence whenever he thanks "the boys," e.g., when he received his Hollywood Star. Makes most believe he’s being a nice guy when in reality his thanks to the “boys” reduce them to his back up band and spares him from having to single out John, the leader and creator of the Beatles, including their name.  Of course, as I said earlier, people like you help him maintain that myth. Paul is very talented, but beneath that nice guy face he likes to wear, an image he's fine honed and projects quite well, he's a very self-servi­ng individual who has a need to be liked by all, but not enough to be gracious and thank John. And before everyone goes postal for any negative remarks about Paul, do your homework and learn what's beneath his great PR.  

Katharine Shilcutt
Katharine Shilcutt

Is this comment a joke? No, I seriously want to know: Is it? Did you read none of the other comments? Nor grasp the fact that this post is satirical?

If this is a long troll, awesome. If not, I weep.

Moosecack
Moosecack

Reading the responses to your piece unfortunately reveals a confederacy of fuck-twits who cannot grasp the concept satire....they'd be utterly lost reading Jonathan Swift.  Better to stick with Saturday morning cartoons, children.

MASSMURDERMEDIA
MASSMURDERMEDIA

lately i've been listening to sir paul's long lost underground cult classic, "sgt pepper's lonely hearts club band"...  with no original members left, the emergency backup paul mccartney (who replaced the one who blew his mind out in a car) lead his new bandmates barry, maurice and robin into psychedelic territory with songs about chicks in the sky with diamonds, meter maids and dancing horses...  but the album completely tanked, pretty much forcing the cancellation of the summer of love...

Tony Clifton
Tony Clifton

ha ha Faul....world's most famous doppelganger.

Roe68
Roe68

En example at satire gone terribly retarded. I could comfortably read this in the Free Press, but this being the Houston Press, I'm nauseous at your editorial judgment to publish this (even if only online). Please, Downing, get a short leash on this one.

Yacketycat
Yacketycat

Just to clear things up for anyone who did not realize this was satire, you might not be aware that this is what was happening on Twitter last night: http://static.happyplace.com/a...

Mr. Hlavaty has quite clearly penned a snarky response to the (depressingly) mass confusion of our youth, and I can't believe I just had to point that out for the benefit of at least two commentators.

jon
jon

Fucking Americans

Daniholeman
Daniholeman

Haha! There are kids (people under 40) that are pretty clueless. We had a pair of finches named John and Yoko, and had to explain the names to the kids that came over . . . and half of them still didn't get it!

Justin
Justin

this could be the worst piece of shit reporting i've ever seen... Who is Paul McCartney? You should be stripped of any privileges you have for asking that simple question. Stop putting your head up your ass listening to shit like Nicki Minaj and Drake and listen to some real music from the most influential band ever...

Allison
Allison

You forgot about the time he starred in the documentary about primary-coloured submarines.

ezdee
ezdee

That was the absolute most pathetic article I've ever read. It was surely written by someone who has absolutely no knowledge of music, and cant be any older than 10. Paul McCartney is just happens to be the most successful song writer in the world....ever. The man is a legend, an icon. The Beatles are the greatest band the world has and will ever see and he wrote half of their music. I suggest that you educate yourself before you post an article that embarrasses yourself and shows disrespect to the most respected man in music. John Lennon shot by Jodie Foster?, get your head out of your @ss. You must obviously be a fan of the teeny bopper/pepsi generation and sounds like your intellectual level is on par with that. If I were the editor of this webpage you would be fired and I'd make certain that you were prohibited from ever writing an article again. For all of you too young to know Sir Paul McCartney just Google him, and if you have 3 weeks to get through all of his accolades you"ll then understand how legendary this man is...simply the greatest musician of our time.   

Uno
Uno

Not bad for a man who was dead for a few years in the late 1960s.

Craig Hlavaty
Craig Hlavaty

Your son is in good hands, but this was meant to speak out against the kids out there who don't have a sense of musical history. True Beatles fans like myself shuddered at the idea that parents aren't passing along the band's music to their kids.

John_Galt_2011
John_Galt_2011

re " I for once would like to hear him specifical­ly thank John Lennon ..."

You could, I suppose, simply watch any of the thousands of pieces of film and video in which he does precisely that.

Oscar Wilde-ing Out
Oscar Wilde-ing Out

 "En example at satire gone terribly retarded."

Something certainly is terribly retarded.

MadMac
MadMac

Gotta be some kinda exciting where you live, sophistocated too, I bet. That's why you're here, commenting on this, in such evocative rhetoric.   

Blake
Blake

Could you not be bothered to read the other comments, in which some other village's idiot gets his pitchfork out because he doesn't understand what satire is? You could have saved yourself some embarrassment. 

DuckDuckGoose
DuckDuckGoose

 Irony?  Where's Alanis when we need a definition of Ironic ...

Jobil1
Jobil1

I think it was a joke

Kelly
Kelly

THANKYOU EZDEE! My 6 year old can name every Beatle and sing along to Abbey Road and Sgt. Peppers (we haven't got to the White Album yet) This writer says 

" McCartney was the bassist and sometime guitarist in the Beatles, a very influential pop-rock band, active from 1960 until 1970"

UNDERSTATEMENT!!!! insulting. You share my firm belief that hands down Paul Mccartney IS the greatest musician of our time. Actually, I don't think future generations will ever see a greater artist.

MASSMURDERMEDIA
MASSMURDERMEDIA

i shot john lennon.  you shot john lennon.  (eyes tear up.)  we all shot him, ezdee.  (voice cracking.)  we all did.

btw, i had my secretary (who wears glasses) google paul mccartney.  he does indeed have many accolades.  but she expects to complete accolade assessment within 3 business days, at which time i'll submit a full report.  until then it would be irresponsible of me to attempt to understand how legendary this man is... 

MadMac
MadMac

So, he's not the dude in the LCD mouse head? Bummer.

Bradg
Bradg

Are you fucking retarded, you freak?  SATIRE:  A literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision or ridicule.

Chris Watkins
Chris Watkins

LOL isn't John Lennon that guy who started Russia? Hey, a cloud!

Bad Timing
Bad Timing

---------> The Joke <---------

--------->Your Head<---------

Robert g
Robert g

And I was unaware of all the wtf is PMc twitter feeds.  Thanks for the link, it all makes sense now......sad though.....

Robert g
Robert g

It's amazing to me that kids today wouldn't know who the Beatles were I guess.  My son had to pick out his "walk up" music, the song they play when he comes to bat for his baseball team.  We sat down and went through some options, and he ended up picking "Kasmir" by Led Zep.  I was, needless to say, happy with that choice!

Jack_Around
Jack_Around

Wow. By my estimation, you cast your line and hooked a whale in under an hour. Congrats!

Craig Hlavaty
Craig Hlavaty

 It really breaks my heart too, and your son rules for using "Kashmir", though if it was me I would want all of Physical Graffiti to be played before I even stepped on the field. :)

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