We Tell You Who Will Win Grammys So You Don't Have To Watch Them

Categories: WTF Island

The best thing about the annual Grammy nominations and awards shows is the clamor of anger that rises up when the mere mention of the event even comes up. Immediately people begin calling it a travesty, trotting out all the people who have been snubbed -- Jethro Tull beats Metallica -- plus everyone from Neil Young to Chuck Berry.

As USA Today noted today, before 1979, there were no "rock" categories at the awards, as the industry was still trying to come to grips with long hairs and loud guitars, even nearly 25 years since it went worldwide. So from say 1956 to 1979, they missed out on Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin The Beatles, The Who, Janis Joplin, the list goes on.

Though I can argue at length that these folks were making pop records with precious melodies and feeling that were begging for recognition. A lot of these bands would end up with lifetime achievement awards to pacify fans. Plus, it's not as if winning a Grammy has any bearing on an artist's influence or historical significance.

It took them less time to embrace hip-hop and rap, more than likely seeing the error of their earlier ways, and also seeing that is was the new music of the youth, and youth means ratings. Tupac Shakur is a notable shut-out too, but it can be argued he grew to monolithic heights after his death, like another Grammy-less icon, Bob Marley. There was no reggae category at the time of his death in 1981. No doubt he would have won several.

Even still, these awards are treated with almost as much pomp and circumstance as the Oscars, though the Grammys are definitely not as formal. The honors still matter, and even getting a nomination helps put your second foot in the door in this industry.

So let's predict who and what will this win at this year's 53rd annual Grammys, airing Sunday on CBS.

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Folk album

What will win: Fleet Foxes

What should win: Gillian Welch

What will happen: I will post something hateful on Facebook about how fucking boring Fleet Foxes is, and no one will listen

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