Mourning The Texans' Loss At The #Thurogod's Altar

Categories: Ask a Rapper

The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -lots of times, you're even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good- so once a week we're going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted to ask a rapper? Email it to sheaserrano@gmail.com.

This Week's Rapper: #Thurogod

This Week's Prompt: Mourning

Sunday, Baltimore's dastardly hellbirds beat God's Children. It was the worst kind of loss (one that could've been prevented). As such, Houston football fans have since been in a halfway tailspin, deifying those that played well (Arian Foster, Andre, the entire offensive and defensive lines) and crucifying those that didn't (Jacoby, Kareem Jackson, Jacoby, Jacoby, Jacoby). We went to church after the game looking for solace, but were left wanting. So we called on a higher power: #Thurogod.

Since the video for his new single, "All Cried," released this weekend (that's it at the top of this post), he agreed to help. What follows is a playlist of songs appropriate for mourning the death of the Texans' season and/or moving forward. Praise be to the most high.

Bob Dylan's "I Threw It All Away"

Just think of Dylan writing this about a football instead of a woman and it will comfort you in our loss. TJ Yates would probably cry guilt tears if he heard this.

Bob Dylan's "Knockin' On Heavens Door"

This is the song you want to hear right after you die. And in this case, it gives me hope that next year the Texans will hoisting the Lombardi trophy atop a float while parading through downtown. This would be heaven.

Hank Williams' "My Son Calls Another Man Daddy"

This explanation is simple; I'm feeling like a loser after that loss but this song makes me feel like less of a loser because, well, just read the title of it or listen to it if you haven't.

Robert Earl Keen's "Love's A Word I Never Throw Around"

Even though the Texans have left me, I want them to know that I support them to the end. They'll be back though; its true love.

James Brown's "Nothing Beats a Try But a Fail"

If you don't fail, you don't succeed and this song just reminds me of how hard our Texans played all year. They had Rudy Rudiger heart all season.

Follow the #Thurogod on Twitter at @Thurogood.


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2 comments
Shea Serrano
Shea Serrano

No, ma'am. It's "#Thurogod." Actually, his full name is "#Thurogod Killshit." But thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to comment.  

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