Bryan Braman Lives Out Metallica's "Seek & Destroy"
I'll readily be the first to admit it: I'm pessimistic about the Texans chances of winning in the playoffs this weekend. Besides losing three straight games, T.J. Yates, also known as "The Savior" was hurt against the Titans on Sunday, Gary Kubiak has finally come back down to Earth as a coach and Wade Phillips is a man and he doesn't cry.
But what in the hell was playing in Bryan Braman's (#50 in the video above) head when he decided to go head-to-helmet -- yes, HEAD-TO-HELMET -- against a Titans player on a punt return. Braman is an undrafted, free agent special teams player meaning that could have been his last game as a Texan yesterday.
Which got me to thinking. You know how they gave the Texans defense that doofy ass "Bulls On Parade" nickname in honor of Rage Against The Machine? Braman is probably one of the lost Metallica children, straight from the era where Master Of Puppets t-shirts were worn with pride (fine, they still are) and crazy motherfuckers like him could care less about their health.
Nevermind, that'll just remind me of when Deion Sanders made rap music and, GOD, did that suck. We're going to assume Braman was humming the hell out of "Seek & Destroy" before going out and well, you know, playing football like a Lars Ulrich drum solo.