5 Most Needless Song Updates
We got into rock journalism from being a local musician, so we understand both sides of the industry pretty well. We've recorded songs that later-on we wish we'd done very differently, and the temptation to go back and re-try for perfection can be very overpowering. Take it from us, though, do not freakin' do it. There is almost no way you're going to accomplish what you set out to do. 
Of the many who've tried, here are the five worst offenders.
Bon Fuckin' Jovi... He made Winger look metal, starred in Ally McBeal, and has somehow managed to remain on top with huge tours and platinum albums. We stopped being a Satanist the day we realized that the Jove must in fact be the Devil himself, as there is no other explanation for his continued success. "Livin on a Prayer" is one of his biggest hits, and in 1994 he reworked it into a semi-acoustic monstrosity called "Prayer '94" for his Cross Road collection.
Honestly, the song isn't terrible, and Jovi takes some interesting twists on its performance, but he insists on singing it the exact same way he'd done in the past, which makes the whole thing seem more like a money-play that a man coming to a different conclusion about his work. That and the fact that simplifying the song just makes you realize how unbearably cheesy the lyrics were to begin with.
An update on the signature tune from the Rocky Horror Picture Show was heavily anticipated for the new millennium, and supposedly had the blessing of Richard O'Brien himself up to the inclusion of a cut from his solo record as a B-side. Vinal Edge was the only place in Houston where we could net a copy, and frankly the CD didn't even make it all the way home before we threw it out the window.
We were expecting something rockier, something with a little more distortion in the guitars and bass in the voices. We were expecting something hard, sexy, and throbbing. Instead we ended up with a half-assed electronic effort that would clear a dance-floor faster than a round of free drinks. Why on Earth they would even try that is beyond us since a definitive dance version was already out there courtesy of Damian.
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