WarBeast: Oh Fuck, They Have a Time Machine

It's a well-known fact that most band names are essentially gobbledygook, but here at Rocks Off we're trying hard to find meaning in the oddest monikers.

Beth Burton
We try real hard to avoid metal bands here in the old What's in a Name? column. We still haven't forgiven Owl Witch for the absolutely horrific research into Native American black magic they made us do, and that makes us damn leery of the delving into the mindset of metalogists ever again. But here we have an Arlington thrash group called Warbeast, and we like that word. It gets more fun every time you say it. Warbeast. Warbeast. Warbeast.

We've been slowly returning to a love of metal thanks in large part to a growing love of the excellent work being done by Cradle of Filth, who tricked us into being their fan again by putting topless chicks in their videos. As far as our untrained plate goes, we can get behind Warbeast. They do the Cookie Monster vocals, but unlike so many of their erring brethren they've decided that intelligibility is a plus and so we actually find ourselves singing along with track like "Born With a Blackened Heart."

It's exciting, the way the whole thing throbs against your temples like King Kong trying to get into Jessica Lange's pants in that De Laurentiis remake. The guitar lines are clean and melodic, and the whole thing throws you headfirst down a slight of stairs. It's fin is what we're trying to say.

That name though...

Warbeast? What kind of warbeast are we talking about here? There's a big difference between Hannibal crossing the Alps on elephants and the time the United States military thought it was a kinky idea to load bats with explosives and hope they'd roost in enemy territory after all. One idea is kicks so much ass that it requires special footwear, and the other is the kind of thing an Earthworm Jim villain would call Plan B.

Obviously the only solution was to mount our trusty war slow loris and eventually meet up with vocalist Bruce Corbitt, who was astride a more practical but infinitely less cute polar bear.

"We just compiled a huge list of possible names for the band," said Corbitt. "Our former guitarist Rick Perry was the one that thought of the name Warbeast. After a process of elimination, Warbeast was chosen after a band majority vote. Now I think of my band and our logo creature/mascot. So together that means... an unleashed, unstoppable raging force that's ready to krush, pulverize and destroy all enemies in its path with a brutal wrath, uncontrolled energy and rampant intensity that will leave a devastating path of destruction."

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