Rap Round Table: The Ten Best Discussions of the Year
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture.
Welp. Ya heard? That's that. It's the last week of 2011. That's cool. Or shitty. Whatevs. No matter. Right here, right now, we're going to take a quick peak back at some of the more enlightened Rap Round Table columns from this past year.
Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray
The ten best.
Here's the one where everyone talked about which was the greatest Pimp C line of all-time. If you'll notice, it starts with contributions from his mother and from Bun B, which pretty much negated whatever it was that anybody said.
Here's the one where everyone talked about which was the greatest Bone song of all-time. This is the one where Z-Ro answered with, "I seem to like all of them," an endlessly entertaining response. It was just so poetic and perfect. Fuckin' Ro, man. What are you gonna do with that guy?
Here's the one where everyone talked about how much they thought rap had affected race relations. We got a whole shitton of email after this one went up. We will never understand why people feel the need to email something about a blog post rather than just leave it in the comments section. Here's a little tip, Internet commenters: If you leave a comment on a blog, whoever wrote that particular will absolutely see it and read it. Writers are all terribly narcissistic and insecure. Fact.
Here's the one where everyone talked about which Jay-Z album is the best, pretty much what 65 percent or so of all rap conversations eventually spiral back to anyway.
Here's the one where everyone talked about whether or not Tha Carter IV was better than Watch The Throne. Here's a hint: It wasn't. Because it was a total vomit-fest.
Here's the one where everyone talked the relative wackness of Lil B and Game in relation to one another. It's still unclear what the appropriate answer is.
Here's the one where everyone talked about which song was the best to listen to at the club while you tried to rub your genitals on a girl at the club. (By the way, it will never not be weird that you can walk up to a complete stranger at the club and press your penis against them as a means of asking if they'd like to dance. That's the kind of shit that makes me pray I never have a daughter. Incidentally, it's also the kind of shit that makes the club the greatest place in the world. All of your silly social conventions are turned upside down.)
Here's the one where everyone talked about why it was seemingly okay to make fun of Amy Winehouse's overdose but not DJ Screw's. Absolutely make sure you read the answer that KAB gave.
Here's the one where all of the rappers were replaced by R&B singers and everything got real sexy.
Here's the one where everyone talked about which four guys deserved to be on Houston rap's Mt. Rushmore. This is always a lively debate.
Here's to 2012, wherein we'll ask rappers more ridiculous things and they'll, in turn, (hopefully) say (ridiculous) things back.