The 10 Most Real Artists of All Time; The Anti-Milli Vanillis

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Milli Vanilli
On this day in 1990, the manager for recent Grammy winners for Best New Group Milli Vanilli held a press conference to tell everyone his act was a fraud. They did not do any of the singing on their best-selling record and they lip synced their shows. It was a startling revelation for a pre-Auto Tune world where singers were supposed to sing and musicians were supposed to play. While there were always suspected fakes out there, this was one of the most public humiliations of the kind.

Well, here on Rocks Off, the shit just got REAL! In honor of this momentous occasion, we've decided to bring you the 10 most no bullshit, it doesn't get any realer than this, artists ever. Strap in and hold on.

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10. Keith Richards

Some believe that Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil. I think it was Keith Richards. Who could survive the constant punishment that man has subjected his body to for 50 years and live to tell about it? If he isn't a minion of Satan, he must be a robot.

9. The Clash

London Calling wasn't just a great rock record, it was a call to arms at a time when popular music had backslid into cheese and cocaine. The Clash, like the Who in the 60s, were the middle finger conscience of a young, pissed off generation.

8. Ted Nugent

Long before Nugent was a gun-toting conservative railing against pussy liberals and even well before he got hair sprayed for his pop turn with the Damn Yankees, Terrible Ted was crushing rock and roll and taking no prisoners. I once saw him hock a massive loogie on stage and spit it about 20 feet. Like the honey badger, Ted just didn't give a shit.

7. The Stooges

It isn't often that someone gives himself over the music in the way Iggy Pop did with the Stooges. The guy looked like a walking track mark and the music felt like meth addiction before that even existed.

6. Motorhead

When heavy metal was turning coiffed and pretty, nobody brought the sick and nasty like Motorhead. Sticking to their guns at a time when they probably could have ridden a gravy train of hot chicks and LA parties so many other rockers were doing it proved they had brass balls wrapped in stainless steel.

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Frank Farian
Frank Farian

Among all this company Milli Vanilli - the best!

DuckDuckGoose
DuckDuckGoose

Delete Manson

Add Roky Erickson. You want real?  Try Rusk State Hospital brutha.

MadMac
MadMac

Never heard of this guy before now. Just sampled some of his licks and I must agree. He's original and bat-shit crazy. Yet linked to no murders, rapes, or skull-fucking. Further, according to Wikipedia, he's such a peach of a man, that everyone from the King Coffee to Speedy Sparks to Henry Rollins has helped him put it back together.

So, apparently not such an as that a HARE KRISHNA would set him on fire, unlike Manson. Seriously, pull this MoMo. He only serves to inspire other low/no talent dip shits, destroyers, and Axl Rose.

Thanks for hipping me to this cat, DDG. 

MadMac
MadMac

Oh my God, I'm sick to death of Manson and his pop-status. This punk's become some rock-cred statement, like wearing a Che Guevara T-Shirt to a fashion show.

Manson was as fake as it gets. Behind the pop-psych, simplistic mysticism, and musical yammerings, he was a two-bit convict playing convict games with weak willed and/or discarded children. He's a guy that talked his way into Father Flanagan's Boys Town, though neither Catholic, nor repentant. Did he take the opportunity to turn his life around? No. He used convict games to talk another boy into sodomy.

Released from prison at the height of the free-love/gullible movement, did he turn his life around and busk on the corner? Play the local coffee house? Sit in at the honky-tonk? Naw, he skull fucked kids into dealing, stealing, and whoring. 

Oh, yeah, his music, I almost forgot a B-side for a Beach Boys record. Recorded because fat old fucks couldn't be bothered to actually pay for drugs and sex.

Keith Moon, Lou Reed, Patty Smith, Joey Ramone, Neil Young and you put Manson in there. Really?

rob
rob

Bobby Soxx was way crazier and "realer" than GG.

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