Justin Bieber's Voice Changes Just In Time For Christmas Album

justin-bieber-under-the-mistletoe.jpg
"Say shawty, Merry Christmas, or whatever year-end holiday greeting that makes you happy."
Children and adults alike are getting their holiday wish granted early this year, and they don't have to wait until Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus or even Christmas morning to receive it. Justin Bieber's voice has aged into a deep - but still flimsy - whisper on the leadoff single to his first-ever holiday disc, Under the Mistletoe.

"Deep" is relative term, we guess. He's not Barry White, but he's not on helium now either.

"Mistletoe" debuted this morning on most major download sites and YouTube. The song features the Beeb's new voice, just a few clicks deeper than we are used to, singing to a "shawty" about all the things he's going to do with her under the titular poisonous plant. Selena Gomez, his girlfriend, is a lucky broad.

Do you think she lets him touch her boobs at the movies? Like, when he rented out the Staples Center just so he and Gomez could eat dinner and watch Titanic all alone with just security guards and stuff? That's gotta be good for at least like, a good grab or two.

We live in changing times, with Occupy protests, social unrest, and KFC's New Cheesy Bacon Bowl rocking the headlines. Now, a sorta deep-voiced Justin Bieber, getting laid on the reg, releases a Christmas album to decimate all comers. Will Mistletoe replace staple holiday albums from Elvis Presley, Bing Crosby and the Oak Ridge Boys? We'll see in November.

The forthcoming album, which hits stores and our hearts November 1, features Busta Rhymes, Usher, Boyz II Men, Mariah Carey, The "Not Lady Antebellum" Band Perry, and a boatload of holiday-ass cheer to light the world. Anyhow, here's first single "Mistletoe" in all its glory for you to bow before and worship.



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4 comments
egoiste
egoiste

in all ITS glory. How do you people get hired?

Craig Hlavaty
Craig Hlavaty

Not really hired as much as it fulfills community service hours. :(

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