Saturday Night: LMFAO At House Of Blues

Photos by Todd Brooks/Courtesy of Hot 95.7

9:11 p.m.: Generally, this would be too early to get a show. But tonight, Kreayshawn, one of hip-hop's most incendiary acts, is performing. We did not want to risk missing it.

9:15: Oh, hey, a woman wearing a gigantic, plush zebra head for a hat. Cool, cool. It took way less time to find someone to hate than we were anticipating.

9:21: Ack. The group next to us - three awful guys and one awful female - has been taking pictures of themselves for, like, eight straight minutes. "Ooh, this one is brilliant; Facebook!" Ack, ack, ack. Fuck you, Mark Zuckerberg.

9:26: Seriously? Still more pictures. It'd be neat if a rhinoceros gored us right in the gut with his tusk right now.

9:40: Okay, some action onstage. A guy in a hooded Party Rock sweater (sleeveless, duh) is throwing those glow necklaces out into the crowd. People are already going berserk. This should be fun. Or terrible. Whatevs. Either way, there's probably a 60 percent chance people get naked in here.

9:42: The DJ is out. He's in a discreet pair of jeans and a simple V-neck T-shirt. That seems waaaay too normal. Shouldn't he be wearing something ridiculous?

9:44: Generally, it seems like the preshow DJ has a tough job. But that shit is pretty much impossible to screw up at an LMFAO show. Trying to convince people to get excited at an LMFAO show is like trying to convince ignorant people to get excited watching Maury Povich; that's shit's happening regardless.

9:51: Oh no. LMFAO's show is starting. Did we miss Kreayshawn? Oh, God. Did we miss Kreayshawn?!

9:52: Smoke(!)... dancers(!)... action(!)... confetti(!)... screaming(!)... that didn't take long. They started with one of the dancers pantomiming while audio of a person talking played. Everything is exaggerated and grandiose and hyper loud, like it was designed for kids that were 90 percent deaf and blind. This is awesome already.

9:57: Aw crap. There's a lady a few spaces back from us, shouting "WHY ISN'T EVERYONE DANCING?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ALL?!" even though everyone in here is dancing and there is nothing wrong with them. If she has a boyfriend, 2 to 1 says he gets in a fight tonight over something dumb she says or does.