The End is Nigh: 2012 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Edition

Mason Lankford said, "There will come a day when we forget the Rapture ever even happened," but Rocks Off is keeping an eye out for signs of our impending Armageddon. We were wrong last time, but we're totally right this time!

Derek Jensen

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

​Once again the time has come to select the most excellent musicians in our midst to enshrine them in the Rock and Roll Hall of fame. The list of nominees for the 2012 induction ceremony has been released, and we couldn't be happier to see bands like the Cure, Guns n' Roses, and Heart get their due.

And as we lovingly perused the list, a feeling of utter dread came upon us. The skies dimmed, the dogs growled, Rebecca Black released another video. Horror came upon us because this year's list proves that the world is about to go out in a flaming ball of God's wrath.

All 15 nominees have connections to the Book of Revelation. Some are obvious, and some need a little cameling through the eye of the needle to fit, but do not doubt we have definitely data mapped God's blueprint for Armageddon here.

Let's start with the Cure. They started their rise to fame with a 1978 single called "Killing an Arab." Well Rev 12:8 hits us with "And their dead bodies shall lie in the street of the great city, which spiritually is called Sodom and Egypt, where also our Lord was crucified." Sounds pretty dead-Arabish to us.

​We can kill two albatrosses with one stone while examining Joan Jett and the Blackhearts as well as Heart. "For she saith in her heart, I sit a queen, and am no widow." That's Rev. 18:7. Both groups have top-of-the-game female performers, and none of them are widows.

Late bluesman Freddie King? Well, in addition to being one of the most influential blues guitarist of all time was also know for having one of the first multi-racial backing bands. Good, right? Wrong. Bad. Portent bad. Rev. 10:11 "Thou must prophesy again before many peoples, and nations, and tongues, and kings." Uh oh.

The Small Faces got started with a couple of hot singles from their 1969 self-titled debut, though the real gem on the album is "E to D" which really shows off Steve Marriott's voice. In America the song was called "Running Wild," and in Rev. 12:6 Johnny says, "And the woman fled into the wilderness."

The Spinners are also on the nominee list, and they first set Motown on fire with a song called "That's What Girls are Made For." The fourteenth chapter of Revelation begins with singing a powerful song that only those who had not defiled women. In other words, you need to have treated your girl right as the Spinners advised.