Ode To Recalled Turkey: Top 7 Songs About Puking
This will come as a surprise to absolutely no one, but Rocks Off enjoys an adult beverage now and then. Sometimes we even enjoy more than one.
And every once in a while we just might happen to, say, spend an entire Sunday drinking champagne on a patio and wake up the next morning fully dressed and clutching a half-eaten breakfast taco we have no recollection of ordering. And that's how we came to spend the better part of Monday hiding from the searing light of day behind dark sunglasses and baggy clothing, fighting back a stomach-full of stale sparkling wine threatening an acidic encore at any moment.
Suffice to say our condition did not improve upon receiving a recorded message from the Kroger meat department instructing us to destroy a package of recalled ground turkey we'd purchased the week before - information that would have been slightly less unnerving had we not been staring at the remnants of the aforementioned bird on the plate in front of us. Wanna know what's worse than a champagne hangover? Salmo-fucking-nella, that's what.
At moments such as these there's little to do but cling to the faint hope that the alcohol content of our stomach killed off any microorganisms lurking in our dinner, and come up with the song list featured below, devoted either in title or lyrical theme to the fate we hoped to avoid (best enjoyed with a side of Pepto Bismol).
7. Devo, "Gut Feeling"
"Something about the way you taste makes me wanna clear my throat."
6. Butthole Surfers, "Clean it Up"
Two days later and we still can't make it through the first ten seconds.
Beck, quite possibly the only guy on the planet with the ability to make nausea sound like a party you'd want to go to.
4. Girls, "Vomit"
A misleading title for a beautifully haunting song, and a video that perfectly captures the light-streaked, spinning disorientation of a booze-filled night out on the town.