Your Weekly Heat Wave Music Blog: Hotter Than Hell Edition
Ed. Note: Remember that "songs about Hell" blog we mentioned a couple of days ago? It's still hot, and here it is.
There's an old saying in Botswana: "Shitfire is it hot!" Wait, maybe that was Bandera. Anyway, whatever hemisphere you're talking about, the heat in Texas has been well nigh intolerable. A few more days of 100+ degree temps and Houston will break the consecutive day streak set back in 1980.
maximumwage.wordpress.com The Southwest Freeway and Loop 610, 4 p.m.
It's been, well, almost hellish.
So what's a (progressively sweatier) body to do in such diabolical conditions? When it's too hot even to go to the pool, the best Rocks Off can do is recommend closing the shades, cranking up the A/C, and listening to some songs that remind you just how infernally miserable it is outside.
James Brown, "Hell": "It's hell down here/ And we've got to make a change." Short of cloud seeding or using that alien technology the Army captured at Roswell to realign the Earth's axis, we really don't see how we can...oh wait, forget we said anything.
Save us, God of Thunder!
The Eagles, "Good Day in Hell": Ah, the 1970s, when "hell" was less about crippling heat and drought and more about hanging out drunk with a succession of willing women. Who cares about Watergate and the odd oil crisis?
Chris Rea, "The Road to Hell": Rocks Off listened to this CD almost daily during our 1993 tour of the Continent. That's not really important, we just wanted to point out that we've been to Europe.
Venom, "Welcome to Hell": Finally, a metal song (some would say, the metal song). We're with you on "Burning/Lives burning," but you kind of lose us with "Buried deep beneath the fall of snow." What kind of weird hell is this?
The Clash, "Straight to Hell": Obligatory Clash inclusion, because it's mostly metal from here on out.
Avril Lavigne, "What the Hell?": A 21-inch rainfall deficit? 198 days between "one-inch rain events?" What the hell indeed, Avril. What the hell, indeed.
AC/DC, "Highway to Hell": Take your pick: I-45 south from Dallas; I-10 west from New Orleans, US-59 SW from Texarkana...they all lead to the same fiendish metropolis.
Misfits, "Green Hell" You actually need water to make a green hell, Glenn. Though in all fairness, we could have done 10 "hell" songs by Danzig and Samhain alone.
This kind of hell we can probably deal with.
Curtis Mayfield, "(Don't Worry) If There's a Hell Below, We're All Going to Go": Mayfield's apocalyptic first single asserts hell will be just as multicultural as America itself. Or maybe we're already there. Seriously, we think the barista at Starbucks this morning had cloven hooves.
Slayer, "Hell Awaits": Not much of a threat when merely walking from your front door to the car necessitates taking another shower. And how scary can any son be when Cradle of Filth covers it?
Overkill, "Hell's Getting Hotter": And so is Houston. The forecast through next week? Highs at or over 100 degrees with little chance of rain.
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