Saturday Night: Roky Moon & BOLT! At Fitzgerald's
Check out all that glitters in our American Honey slideshow.
11:54 p.m.: Question: What the fuck good is a smartphone if it dies every 14 minutes?
11:54:15: Oh, sorry. Some info: We're here at the album release party for American Honey, the second album from Houston's brilliant rockers Roky Moon & BOLT!. They recorded it at ZenHill Records, and they did so in one day. One day. An album record. One. Day. FYL.
11:59: Yo, there's a photographer here who looks like Professor Severus Snape from the Harry Potter movies. Cool. And weird.
1:59:30: Did anyone ever make a porno version of Harry Potter? Hairy Twatter, perhaps? Cool. And gross.
12:04 a.m.: Earlier this evening, riot-rapper and perpetual nominee for king of Houston Underground Music, B L A C K I E, was wandering around. Did you know he shaved his head? His hair had been his trademark for a long time. Him shaving it is akin to Michael Myers taking his mask off.
12:05: BTW, a proposed new nickname for B L A C K I E: The Shogun of Houston. Can we all agree on that?
12:08: These types of shows, the ones where there are no seats and everyone just stands where they please, are generally more fun than the ones where you pay for a ticket that secures you a seat. Think about some of the greatest rock and roll shows you've ever seen or read about: U2 on that L.A. liquor store rooftop in 1987; Hendrix at Woodstock in 1969; Queen at Live Aid in 1985; etc.
They're almost all in the Standing Around purview. The obvious reason for that is because if the band is any good, everyone inevitably gets all mushed together, and the energy of the mob tends to roll over onto itself again and again.
12:10: The guy from ZenHill Records is onstage. The show is about to start. He's talking about how when ZenHill started they had designs on "starting the grooviest little record label in Houston." He's sounding very much like a proud papa right now.
12:11-14: Some very spooky minstel-ish music playing. No band is out. There is a great big lightning bolt up behind the drum set. They're letting this entire song play, it seems, building up anticipation. Neat. When you make a crowd wait, that's a dicey game to play. It goes from Cool to Come On Already to What The Fuck, Bro. But if you wait long, it can roll back around to Cool again. It looks Roky Moon and BOLT are gonna tr---
12:14:05: Bam! They just came flying out(!)... the guitarist, bassist, saxophone player, and keyboardist have glam paint all over their faces(!)... crowd noise like a m-effer(!)... Roky comes out last(!)... he's wearing an all-white suit(!)... his face is painted too(!)... holy Christ.
12:15: A guy standing directly in front of us just fell the fuck out. He landed right at our feet. His eyes are wide open, but he's not responsive. We pat him on the chest several times to snap him out of it (that's what a doctor would do, we're certain of it). He doesn't move. Great. We're less than a minute in and Roky Moon and BOLT have already killed a guy.
12:16: A large man picked up the guy that fell out. Glad he didn't die. It was the chest pats that saved him, no doubt.
12:29: RM&B are saucy. The music shifts pace fearlessly and confidently, like a Ferrari.
12:29:15: FYI, the Ferrari thing, that's just a guess. We've never been in a Ferrari. We have, however, been in a 2001 Hyundai Accent. That thing changes directions like a guy with two twisted ankles. Roky Moon & BOLT! are not like that. They have extra ankles.
...What the fuck is going on right now? Ankle metaphors? Ferraris? Geez. Sorry again.
12:30-38: They're doing that song that ends with, "We don't know where we go when we die," the crowds goes yo-yo, then BOLT! leaves and Roky does two songs by himself. His guitar? All-white, of course. If a young Col. Sanders played the guitar, this is exactly what it would look like.