35 Bands You Should Never, Ever Search On Google Images

Categories: WTF Island

Butthole+Surfers++classic+lineu aug17.jpg
dedica.la
Once unprintable in "family" newspapers, today the Butthole Surfers barely even rate on our list. You'll see why.
Here at Rocks Off, we take our blog ideas where we can get them - even from mistakes. Allow us to explain.

About a month ago, we went to Rihanna at Toyota Center, and afterward stopped by Jet Lounge to see what was going on because we hadn't been there in a while. We wound up watching a few swampy ska-pop songs by local three-piece Alligator Assassins, who are now working on their second album, according to the band's Facebook page.

So when we got into the office that Monday, we wanted to find out more about Alligator Assassins, except we couldn't quite remember their name. Somehow Rocks Off had gotten in our heads that they were called Alligator Attack, and thus struck out searching for them online - but not before thinking, "I bet it would be really gnarly if we looked up 'Alligator Attack' on Google Images."

Jet GM Amber Chemam eventually gave us the Assassins' correct name, but by then it was too late. Rocks Off's brain was already hard at work coming up with the most visually unpleasant band names we could think of.

danger_keep_out_sign aug17.JPG
We're not kidding about that sign, y'all. Even without any visual representation besides how a couple of these groups have chosen to illustrate their recorded output - thankfully, we have no idea what a picture of an actual "Goatwhore" might look like - what follows is a list of some of the most disturbing, disgusting and just plain offensive band names in history.

Seriously, it's some pretty sick shit. Obviously, Rocks Off does not advise actually searching any of these names on Google Images; mostly what you'll get is a bunch of beefy tattooed dudes in dire need of a shower anyway. But the implication is enough. Animal lovers, religious people and those of you who haven't eaten lunch yet might want to go see what our sister blogs Eating Our Words and Art Attack are up to, or check out Hair Balls' buffet of Confederate-flag bikinis.

OK, you've been warned. Rocks off will tell you that every one of these is a real band name, or was at one point in time. Thanks to Steve Jansen for his suggestions (we think). Now proceed at your own risk.


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23 comments
Xxysyndrome
Xxysyndrome

Well I Google Image Searched "The Gories" and all I got were pages and pages of album covers, band pics and live shots of that great band playing live. 

cumstain
cumstain

you forgot CUM STAIN!!!!! on burger records!!! so good!!

maelstrom
maelstrom

What, no Thalidomide and the One Armed Mongoloids?

Travesty!

John Lewis Sale
John Lewis Sale

No wounder why they cant be goggled just look at their makeovers

Robin
Robin

So far the most offensive band I've come across who's lyrics, when read aloud, have prompted many of my christian friends to request, sometimes angrily, that I stop reading. Whether you look at their band name, lyrics, merch, or even their members, it's obvious they just want to set a new standard for "bad taste"

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you JonBenet Ramsey http://www.jonbenetramsey.net/

rudejester
rudejester

Reading the title, the first three to come to mind were Sloppy Seconds, Butthole Surfers and Revolting Cocks. 2 out of 3's not bad.

Head Junky
Head Junky

Don't forget Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles (On Tour Now!) 

Hezbollama
Hezbollama

Glad to see Sloppy Seconds made a list. One of their early records is titled The First 7" if you ever want to do this list with album names.

Testis911
Testis911

You forgot to add the my friends' band named Vaginal Herpes ...

FreeNyona
FreeNyona

Goblin Cock. DVDA. Alabama Thunderpussy. Crotchduster. Bowel*. Whorehound*. (* = from Houston)

rocksoffsr
rocksoffsr

Whatever happened to Bowel? They were (are?) good.

And dare I ask what DVDA stands for?

Justice Tirapelli-Jamail
Justice Tirapelli-Jamail

DVDA stands for Double Vaginal Double Anal, as in two penasia for each respective orifice : )

Early Cuyler
Early Cuyler

Anal Cunt may have some of the best song titles ever.  Here are a few.  You play softball.  You shop at Ikea.  You wear Crocs.  You are a food critic.  You look adopted.  You have goals.  And my all time favorite, EZ E got aids from Freddie Mercury.

rocksoffsr
rocksoffsr

Don't forget "Song Titles are Fucking Stupid" and "Having to Make Up Song Titles Sucks."

Charlie Naked
Charlie Naked

Though the results are nowhere near as nasty as all that, I can tell you I have problems with people googling my music name, "Charlie Naked".  It's a little bit of me, and a whole lot of gay porn.

Mark_h01
Mark_h01

How about Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel?

aln
aln

Don't see why Puffy Areolas made this list.

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