If Not Rapper, What Job Would You Want To Have?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't a national holiday Rocks Off will have some of them hear discussing issues relevant to their culture.

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Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray
This Week's Panel: Bun B, Fat Tony, Preemo, Chingo Bling, Kane, Thurogood, KAB, hasHBrown, B L A C K I E, Scooby, Mic Skills, Dante Higgins

Not Invited: Hope Solo (BTW, that's a bad, bad woman.)

This Week's Prompt: Considering Waka Flocka's potential retirement from rap, and considering he said he felt like at times he'd prefer working at Walmart, what job would you take were you fed up with rapping?

Bun B: I'd be a park ranger, hanging with Yogi and Boo Boo. Rangers and bears kick it all the time, right?

Thurogood: If I were to never rap again, I'd become a world-class chef.

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Mic Skills: Chef.

Rap Round Table: You're the second person to say that. Are rappers closet foodies?

Mic Skills: Cooking is definitely an art. Besides, who doesn't like food?

GT Mayne: More than likely, [I'd] be a teacher*.

*This is a perfect fit. GT Mayne has the most professorial beard of any rapper in the history of rap.

Kane: Retire? Rap is a hobby turned side hustle. You can't have tunnel vision when it comes to making money. One* way isn't enough for me.

*There was this burglar movie from early 2000s called Heist. In it, Gene Hackman plays an ultra-slick thief. It's mostly a bad movie, but Hackman has this really excellent moment where, when talking to some fools-rush-in sucker, he says, "I wouldn't even tie my shoes without a backup plan." Kane has likely said something similar at some point.

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I hope he follows through and does actually retire. Waka Flocka is to rap what the Ford Pinto is to cars.

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