True Blood: Drunken Vampires & Danko Jones

Alan Ball was known for his masterful use of music in Six Feet Under. He's lost none of his touch when it comes to his current HBO series, True Blood - which happens to be set in the Louisiana swamps, not terribly far from Houston.

​Gothtopia first read Dracula at age 8, and Anne Rice's Interview With the Vampire not long after that. Suffice to say that over the last 20 years or so, we've seen a few vampires. Aside from one time in the Preacher comics, we've never seen a vampire drunk before. That was also the first time we'd seen a vampire moon anyone.

Well, now we can add True Blood to the short list of drunken buffoonery perpetrated by the undead. When we signed off last week, the faerie Claudine was being drained to the point of going poof by an amnesiac Eric. Last season established that faerie blood allowed vampires to briefly walk in the sunlight . Well, apparently, if you completely drain a full-blooded faerie, it's like taking a whole bunch of tequila shots.

Watching Eric using super-speed to repeatedly pinch Sookie's butt before running off into the woods to taunt alligators in the water is one of the funniest things we have ever seen, as was when the blood started to wear off and the sun began baking tall, pale, and stupid.

"Ah, did hims have too much faerie and gets a tummy ache?" quipped the Wife With One F beside us on the love seat.

​Meanwhile, Sookie's brother Jason is being force-fed Viagra and gets gang-raped by a bunch of werepanthers hoping to deepen their rather shallow gene pool, a situation that the True Blood Facebook page called his comeuppance for a life of being a horndog. So, apparently, HBO says that if you're kind of a ho and you get kidnapped and repeatedly raped, then it's just karma.

Dicks.

Leaving our soapbox behind, the witch storyline is taking an interesting turn. Apparently in the True Blood universe vampires initiated many of the historical witch hunts to combat the threat of necromancy. This has led our season's big, bad Marnie to being possessed by the spirit of an angry witch who got herself perished in one of these purges. This is the source of her amazing powers against the vampires, which usually manifest themselves with a burning light in her eyes.