Gothic Council Applies For The Perfect Job

Categories: Gothtopia

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Joblessness in the United States remains an ever-present fear for Americans who worry about their employment options in the face of a sluggish economic recovery. Having recently gone through it ourselves, let us tell you that the stress of not knowing for sure where your next check is coming from or whether you'll be able to maintain health insurance can be a truly stressful experience. Being hired during such a time gives one a huge sense of relief.

But surely it won't always be this way, right? Times may be tough, but no tough time lasts forever. One day a veritable buffet of awesome jobs will once again be open to the populace. Jobs like that guy who was solely in charge of watching for girls flashing on Splash Mountain at Disney World to make sure the pictures didn't end up traumatizing children. In some hopeful future, jobs like that will soon return to the country.

What exactly is the dream job for the average goth (besides professional boob monitor)? This question required an answer, so by mailing off our resume to Cleopatra records for the position of CD rewinder, we summoned the Gothic Council.

Joining the Council this week is stylist Carol Daeumer, author Carmilla Voiez, fashion designer Batty, creepy dollmaker Ugly Shyla, PunkyMoms founder Sarah Fanning, and new to the Council, model Scarlett St. Vitus.

Gothtopia: The question before the Council is, "What is the ultimate goth job?" As always, remember that we have a time machine.

Carol Daeumer: Antiques Dealer. We have a time machine, so we can travel through time collecting items and selling them in the present... Most of us already have the clothes to fit in with several time periods, so why not? Sounds like a hell of an adventure to me.

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Scarlett St. Vitus: My somewhat realistic dream job would be general counsel for the largest funeral, cemetery and cremation company in the U.S. Anyone have connections at SCI?

Less realistically, I'd love to host a spooky travel show where I would visit creepy/haunted/strange places like the Paris Underground and the Bone Church, but also goth/deathrock clubs. If only I could convince someone to pay me to do that.

My 100 percent unrealistic time machine dream job is to be a ridiculously wealthy, batshit crazy queen/princess/other royal person.

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My Voice Nation Help

I am very thankful for our health insurance, and even more thankful that we found an affordable one through "Penny Health" online. It has been 6 years that they have not increased my premiums. Having health insurance gives us a peace of mind

Jef With One F
Jef With One F

Because his answer to everything is freakin' wizards, that's why.

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