Vive La France: 14 French Lessons From English Pop Songs
Happy Bastille Day, everybody. Today France celebrates the day in 1789 when an angry mob stormed the eponymous (our new favorite word) prison in central Paris, freed all seven prisoners - they were really after the guns and ammunition, Clash-style - and touched off the French Revolution. As Karen O sang, heads will roll.
In other words, today is basically France's Fourth of July. It's just a few days late because the French are never in a hurry to do anything. Please let them enjoy it. France has had a tough time lately, between the U.S. women's soccer team's World Cup semifinal victory Wednesday, propping up bankrupt European neighbors like Ireland and Greece, and this whole Dominique Strauss-Khan mess.
Rocks Off has never been to France, something we very much hope to remedy one day. As a Texan, we feel a certain affinity for the French. France and the Lone Star State are about the same size, while the people share a taste for boeuf and spirits and, shall we say, a certain haughty opinion of themselves. For anyone who is lucky enough to be going over soon, we searched out some handy travel advice from some notable English-speaking songwriters.
Visitors To France Needn't Bother Booking a Hotel Room
"When it's good as it can be, it gets better, wait and see/ Oh, these folks don't ever sleep till they're passed out in the street"
France Can Be Difficult to Locate By Boat
"The wind carries into white water/ Far from the islands/ Don't you know you're never going to get to France"
Note: Rocks Off doubts Her Majesty's Royal Navy would agree with this one.
The girls is all salty/ The boys is all sweet/ The food ain't too shabby/ An' they piss in the street"
There's No Fellatio Like French Fellatio
"They got diseases like you never seen/ Got a mystery blow-job turn your peter green"
Jerry Lewis Has Nothing On Weird Al
"Every Frenchie that I meet/ Just can't wait to kiss my feet/ Get in line, pucker up/ Toute Suite!"
Public Telephones Can Be Difficult to Find
"And I looked round for a telephone/ To say 'Baby I won't be home'/ I was lost in France in love"