The Napkin Files: Deep Thoughts From Shallow Waters

joes-cozy-corner-charles-simms june13.jpg
Charles Simms/fineartamerica.com
Joe's Cozy Corner in New Orleans
Lonesome Onry and Mean spends quite a bit of night time in bars and music venues writing random thoughts on bar napkins. Lots and lots of bar napkins. Usually LOM is laboring under the delusion that he's having a brilliant idea, some deep, penetrating minor profundity that will, if not stop the world, at least make it pause and think for second.

Regretfully, most of these mouth wipes do not end up in blogs, but rather end up wadded in anger or befuddlement and flung toward the gaping maw of the trash can. But LOM's editor, the esteemed Rocks Off Sr., thought there must have been some kernel or tidbit worth keeping on many of those napkins, even if in the haze of the day after they didn't have the muscle it takes to become a fully developed story.

Instead, he suggested that when LOM is culling his napkin pile, he compile the best, strangest, weirdest, and stupidest blurbs. So we did.

1. LOM was at Blanco's one night when the headliner seemed to prefer socializing to performing, so she started letting all kinds of people get up and do a couple of songs while she cavorted around shaking hands and pressing the flesh. We won't name the performer - let's just call him X - but we scribbled this description of him as he mangled "Cocaine Blues" with his rhinestone-badass interpretation.

"Mr. X, a grinning, wannabe outlaw from Alabama, has all the taste of Milwaukee's Best. This is sacrilege."


2. Another night we were at Blanco's during the band break when someone dropped a dime on a classic we hadn't heard in ages, Willie Nelson and Jimmy Day doing "Lucky Old Sun."

"The real Texas music."

My Voice Nation Help
5 comments
Liseliddell
Liseliddell

you could start a whole lotta crap with this by getting people to mail in shit they write on napkins.  NO internet crap - they'd have to take the fucking napkin, put it in an envelope, stick a stamp on it and figure out the goddamned address and then haul it out to one of them there old fashioned snail-mail boxes. that way you could filter out the mens from the meeces. 

Jdyboogie2
Jdyboogie2

interesting. While I was working for one of the first Marine/Oil & Gas MGA / Insurance Brokers,  the guys would take long, long lunches and eventually come back to the office with policy wordings, complete programs, pricing and even deals "sold" to a prospective client, all written down on napkins. I personally typed the notes up from many of those ... and I'm sure there are still some files around somewhere with some of those first ones filed safely away.

And from that, my friend, millionaires were made.. and the insurance business was never the same.

enjoyed your article.

LYNDA HIGDON

Lorenzo4344
Lorenzo4344

This is fine stuff, Mike. I love the way you ... don't think. RO Sr. was right to prod you.

wms
wms

Mr Lorenzo - I try not to think, but it comes hard,sir. thank you for gettin' it.

wms
wms

Mr Lorenzo - I try not to think, but it comes hard,sir. thank you for gettin' it.

Now Trending

Houston Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...